Long time away, things still suck!
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Long time away, things still suck!
| Fri, 10-05-2007 - 11:41pm |
My X is still as crazy, mean & unstable as ever.
After 5K & 4 months last winter/spring
| Fri, 10-05-2007 - 11:41pm |
My X is still as crazy, mean & unstable as ever.
After 5K & 4 months last winter/spring
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R~
First of all... it is so good to see you... thanks for stopping by and posting an update, although I sure wish it
Rlch,
Hi! Always glad to hear from you, and hope the news will be better soon!
You've been so strong throughout this process Rebecca. Don't let the jerk grind you down!
It would appear to me (a non-parent) that your daughter doesn't need to be exposed to her very, very angry father. I would fear she would feel responsible for his feelings (become co-dependent) and you wouldn't want that. I think therapy is a terrific idea. Child therapists really know how to get a child to tell their story and it still amazes me! They can help your daughter vent and give her tools to cope.
I also hope the therapist also helps your daugther understand that her father's ill nature isn't her responsibility. She might have to learn it's OK not to invite him to her school functions, etc. as much as she wants him to be there. He's just not capable of thinking about anyone but himself. Indeed, the way you describe his behavior, he sounds like a bratty teenager with an attitude!
I'm also not sure where you would go to seek relief from the courts. I'm sure there's money involved if you have your lawyer turn in the Ex every time he doesn't meet his end of the bargain. As for the visits though, I'm glad you're not allowing them. His behavior toward your daughter is nothing less than abuse. I would ask for supervised visits, if possible, given his antics. The man is totally "all about me" and his anger leaves no doubt he does not have your daughter's best interest at heart.
Again, your daughter may have to learn that her father isn't capable of loving anyone else and its not her fault. I know more than anything she wants him to want to see her, enjoy her company, and praise her for her accomplishments. But, he's just not capable of doing that. Too bad she might have to learn detachment at so young an age.
Keep us posted.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Thanks, good to "see" you too!
You are SO right on with her feeling responsible for his feelings. On one hand, she KNOWS its not her who makes him the way he is. Im pretty sure of that. BUT, when he scares her & she wants to tell him, or she doesnt want to see him, THEN she feels really guilty about "hurting his feelings" or says "What if Daddy is lonely & say & crying bc/ i wont go see him?"
Rebecca your ex-husband and his abuse of you and your child infuriates me and the lack of support you get from that state you live in is equally infuriating. I cannot believe this can continue. Its truly disgusting.
That GAL should have her license revoked. I would report her to whatever governing board she needs to report too, she shouldn't even be able to practice, she's useless.
You are amazing and resilient. BIG HUGS!
Smile,
Deirdre
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Hey there rlch,
Is there any chance you can get you hands on a video recorder.
Rebecca,
I've thought about this post since I first read it.
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
Rebecca,
This is so extreme! I really hope that you keep your daughter away from this man until he complies with the court order. I wouldn't let her anywhere near him, and I certainly wouldn't invite him to events like the open house where your daughter can be hurt by his behavior. Let her know that her father is ill, and until he gets better he cannot come to see her. This is very sad, but you have a lot of power. Just don't be afraid to use it to protect your child. This man is dangerous and unbalanced.
You and Avery are in my prayers.
Cat
Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7
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