Looking for advice on surviving
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| Mon, 06-05-2006 - 8:37am |
First time posting a message. Going thru unwanted and unexpected divorce. I have a 6 years old son. I am having a hard time accepting. We were married 8 years. After we had my son was born we moved from New Jersey to Texas for husbands job. I gave up my job of 16 years to be a stay at home Mom. Now I am looking for a job which is stressful, dealing with sadness of divorce and missing my son when he goes with Dad. I was always a very independent person before I married and now I realize that I became very dependent on soon to be ex for everything, love,frienship and financial support. It seems so scary. I know I did it before, taking care of myself. It's been 4 months since he left. I just cannot get past the sadness part, I still cry alot. I just started seeing a counselor last week but any other advice for survicing?
Thanks

Hi...Do you have a degree? I can try to help you out in that department. Email me through my name.
Surviving divorce is tough but you just do it. There is no miracle pill to take, or miracle time frame. You just trudge along and you make it.
Edited 6/5/2006 9:18 am ET by sniffle_sally
Welcome,
You've come to the right place. It will be hard, you'll cry, scream, be pi$$ed, enraged and on and on. The good part, YOU WILL GET BETTER, IT WILL GET EASIER. It's been over 2 years for me. Our son is 3 and nothing hurts more than watching your child go off with dad and another woman to do "family things" the three of you should have been doing. The pain goes away, become tolerable. Trust me I know. In the beginning I never thought I would get over the hurt, betrayal and the pain. But I did, Im still healing. At times I still cry after I see him leave with our son or after they return, when him and I have a civil exchange because I can see the hurt in his eyes as well even though he's been a nasty s.o.b.
You will get through. Use this board. It did wonders for me. It saved me. Read alot, PRAY all the time. I guarantee it will ge rough and there will be times you will want to give up. I also GUARANTEE there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm just starting the process of seperating now. Unfortunately, I'm the one who felt it was best for us to seperate. So, I guess I'm the bad guy here...I just grew away from him. In fact, I'm not sure if I was ever "grown to him". I think I married him for the wrong reasons. That's a moot point now...
We'll need each other to lean on as we go through this tough time together. I don't know what to even tell my 4 year old what is happening. I dread the day I have to tell him that mommy and daddy aren't going to be living together anymore.
Hi... glad you found us!
I'm glad that you're seeing a counselor.... you definitely owe that to yourself and your child... and trust me, as things get finalized with your divorce and your new routines get established (visits with dad, the job thing, etc.) you'll begin to feel a lot better.
Hang in there... we're here with ya!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Your child is still young. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself first. You need to be healthy and sane. If your child is asking questions and you and your ex are communicating well discuss with each other first how to explain to your little one. Kids are smart so they will know something is going on. I often wonder what my son thinks or how much he comprehends when he leaves with his dad. Once he said I wanna see mommy and daddy. Ugh did it hurt. So when I took him down that day, I told ex and then said see you see mommy and daddy together. When I went back upstairs I cried my eyes out. My spells are ALOT SHORTER then they used to be and that feels great. Ive grown so much as you will.
We here for you.