Looking for opinions
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 12-22-2006 - 12:57am |
It has been a little over 2 weeks that STBX and I have been living apart. In that time we have been sharing time with the kids fairly equally. On the days when the kids are with me he often wants to come over to my house to "play" with them. Every time he drops them off he asks when he can come to see them. In my opinion his motivation for doing this has little to do with the kids and more to do with himself in many ways that I won't go into.
So, in addition to his requests that I give him some of my time with the kids, he has been wanting to come to see them at my house. I have decided that this is not comfortable for me and won't allow it any more. I told him today that if he wants to see the kids during the days they're with me, he has to make arrangements to take them somewhere other than my house. This is complicated by the fact that the marital home- which is empty when the kids are with me- is 30 minutes out of town.
But my concern is that this "visiting" for a couple of hours is confusing to the kids. When they are with me they settle nicely. They don't ask for their dad or stress over his not being here. However, when he dropped them off tonight after his visit they were both upset. I feel that it would be less disruptive to them if they saw him when they knew he was coming to get them for the weekend, not just for 2 hours. But maybe that's just my issue popping up. When the kids are with him I don't even phone them for fear that it will upset them. I figure that's their time with their Dad and his time with them and that I shouldn't infringe on that.
Am I just way out in left field here? I am thinking about stopping these "playdates" because they are upsetting to the kids. Does that make sense?

Well... be careful.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~