looking for your 2 cents

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
looking for your 2 cents
1
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 11:13am
well the kids had a good time last weekend..(they went to a cottage with stbx & gf)
there were a few issues..
my youngest dd called to say goodnight & told me she was upset about gf pj's..I really dont think it was the pj's but that dd was uncomfortable about seeing her in them
I pointed it out to stbx & he admitted later that he brought her in front of gf & said "is she showing any of her private parts?..do you see anything wrong with these pjs?"
of course dd said "no daddy" (she is 6)
the other issue was sleeping arrangements..my stbx & I discussed it before he went & we both agreed he would sleep with the kids, this time, since it was the first time they were meeting the gf.. well I think you can guess about that one...he slept with her but got up early & laid on the couch..well the kids knew..I don't really know if they had a problem with it or not..it usually take a few days to find out these things..
really my issue isn't with the sleeping arrangements it is that we had agreed on a way to handle it ..then he went & did whatever.
when we were together he was pretty strict about parenting styles & we were almost always on the same page..now the kids feelings don't matter..
I don't know how to deal with this...just clean up the fallout? let him set up his own relationship with his kids?..my 6 yr old dd is having a lot of behavioural issues since he left..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 1:05pm

mom nettiejane...

Quick reminder from Pianoguy:

Your EX has a g/f.....even though you and your EX have the children.

But expecting 100% cooperation---aka the way YOU FEEL he should respond to all the demands or expectations from the children when they do a "sleepover"---probably will NEVER happen?

There IS an issue of "good taste" though?

And perhaps you might want to let your EX know (in a polite, non-threatening way) that the words he uses around the 6-year old are probably going to get back to you? Also stress that his "kidding" isn't necessary funny to an impressionable child.....irregardless of her age!

Pianoguy