Loose string or the thread I cling to...
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| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 11:14pm |
I am new to this board so please bare with me. I am nine months into a one-year required separation and I have lost everything I have ever cared about. This divorce comes only after I have truly exhausted every effort to repair our relationship. I love my wife but she replaced me with her family, her pets and her expectations of the man I should be ... but never was.
I took the high road. She turned my children against me.
Today, I listened to both of my girls tell me that all they really want from me is either money or help bypassing their mother. I have spent the better part of the evening wondering what I did wrong. How could I have been so blind to what was going on around me?
I do not claim to be perfect. I have suffered financially and struggled in my career. But I did so because I tried to stay in this small community while my wife's father suffered from a long, debilitating illness. After he died, she withdrew emotionally and physically. Five years later, I reached a point where I simply could not continue.
I have no girlfriend waiting in the wings. The last nine months have been the loneliest I have ever endured. And yet I get accused and my children believe the worst about me.
I have always been there for my girls. And now… in my darkest hour… I am alone.
How do you simply get through the next day?

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Thank you.
For listening to my crap... for letting me post... for being direct in your support... and for telling me your story and what you think... no holes barred.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself long enough to take my parents to a movie this evening. We saw Robins Williams in RV. I laughed so hard my side hurts.
There was one moment in the movie when Robin Williams confesses to his wife that the most important thing in his life is what his wife and children think of him. I think it was meant to be one of those touching moments in an otherwise funny movie... but it told me how misguided Williams was in his thinking... and how his feelings paralleled my own.
You don't have to dig "deep" to discover I am a good man. And I would like to thank everyone that has shared there thoughts on my situation as well as their stories with me.
For the first time, I really feel like I am not alone. I started to join a "divorce group" but I am really working very hard not to put myself in a situation where I might "hook up" with someone before the divorce is over.
Thanks again to everyone.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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