Lots of ups and downs
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-04-2005 - 6:58pm |
Hi
I posted on here a couple months ago. I'm newly separated from my husband. I'm 27, he;s 26 and we were married almost 3 years, together for over 5 and a half. He had alot of depression and alcohol issues, and at the end of the relationship he got into drugs as well. It was really hard on me at first, moreso to actually make the break away from him. But I did it, I moved in with my parents until he moved out of our house, then I went back until it sold, which it did within 2 days of being listed. It was hard being there without him as everything reminded me of him. But I tried to be strong and I had all my family and friends standing behind me. I continued to keep in touch with my STBX and it was hard hearing about how he was continuing down his self destruction path, but now it wasn't my problem anymore and it didn't stress me out like it used to, it just made me sad for him. Also, it was usually him who called me, I tried not to call him at all as it made it so much easier on me when I didn't talk to him. Anyway, soon after we separated I met someone, and I really didn't think I would start dating again so soon but it happened. I met a great guy, so different from my STBX. He treated me like a princess, something I've never been treated like before by any guy. He has great morals and values and wants to have kids one day (STBX never did). He goes out of his way to do things for me. I dated him for a month and STBX didn't know yet about him and I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to hurt him. He found out and was devastated. He spent that whole weekend crying. I went to see him and he told me how he's been thinking for weeks how he can get me back, how I was the best thing to happen to him. After that weekend though, he switched his tone and then he was angry and said he hated me and never wanted to see or talk to me again. After 2 days of that, he was phoning me again and has gone up and down since then. Now its been about 4 weeks since he found out, I am still with my new bf. STBX knows and claims he is happy for me, that I deserve someone who will treat me good. And now we seem to be more friends then we ever have been before. He actually confides in me about stuff he won't tell anyone else, and he would never even confide in me this much when we were a couple. He badly wants to see me and always asks when he can see me, when he can take me out for dinner, can I go furniture shopping with him, etc. I almost feel torn sometimes between him and my new bf. I still have this draw to my STBX- there was always something about him that just drew me to him. But I know if I go back to him, it will just be the same thing and I won't be happy and he won't treat me good. I'm finally in a relationship where I am treated with respect, but its just that I can't stop thinking about STBX sometimes. I cry when I look at our wedding pictures.
Anyway, so there have been lots of ups and downs. But the biggest happened a couple days ago. STBX called me and told me he wanted to tell me something but wanted to make sure I wouldn't tell anyone- that he has told absolutely no one yet. He said he had a lump on one of his testicles and went to the doctor and they think it might be testicular cancer. He's at the hospital today, right now actually getting it tested and they already sent him for blood tests. If they managed to get him into the hospital within 3 days of seeing the doctor then they must think it is pretty serious. He sounded really upset on the phone and he started crying, he is so scared and so am I now. One of his best friends died of testicular cancer 3 years ago and he was only 30.
So anyway, I don't even know why I wrote this post, I guess I just needed to tell someone about all this, since I can't talk about it to anyone else.
Thanks to all of you who listened.

Thank you for sharing your story.
My thoughts and prayers are with your STBX. Hopefully everything will be ok.
Take care and please let us know what happens.
Hugs,
Angelena
Hang in there...... soon, there will be many more ups than downs.
Let us know what you find out about his test..... my thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~