Making me feel like a bad mommy!
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| Wed, 04-19-2006 - 4:28pm |
My lovely ex-h CONTINUES to treat me like I'm a second-class mother. Clayton has allergies. I called the doc. on monday to try to get a prescription for Clariniex. They never called me back on Monday. Tuesday I called first thing and her nurse said they would check with a doctor (ours isn't in on Tuesday's), and get back to me. I called the pharmacy 2 times to see if the prescription had been called in, it hadn't. Last night i found out it HAD been called in but that they didn't have any clarinex in stock. But that they would have it today. Their automated system said that my prescription isn't ready. Has said that all day. Ex called a little bit ago to see if I had gotten his prescription and I told him no and he started in on me that i needed to get it to a different pharmacy then and that our son was very, very ill and that i wasn't putting him first and this and that and the other. He then hung up on me. Called me back about 10 minutes later and left me a message (I didn't answer my phone) telling me that the prescription would be ready when I left work, but that from now on he woudln't say anything to me and that he would just document how irresponsbile I was in my parenting, and that when I wound up in court, I would know why.
I have GOT to quit letting him have this power over me, but I also am tired of this crap. I'm so tired of all of it.

F-him. Oooh they make me so mad. Im guessing that your son lives with you and he gets visits? My ex can be a real jerk to. He complains of how I dress our son, he is 3. He tries to act like he is a better father than I am a mother. Im sorry your ex is being a jerk right now. They can do one thing and that's supposed to negate all the work we do everyday. Then want to act like we are incompetent. I know its hard but try not to let him get to you. My ex knows how to push my buttons and Im in the process of trying to find ways so he doesnt know he gets to me with his garbage. As long as they know they get to us they will continue with their behavior.
The most important thing is he gets his medication. My son also suffers terribly from allergies (carpet especially). Ex knows this, has always known since he was very young. He moved to a place that has carpeting on the floor and wonders why I didnt want out son there. He went as far as telling the courts I was lying about his allergies and that his preschool has carpet and wanted the court ordered visitation changed to allow him to have visits at his house. Him and his lawyer thought they had something on me but when I pulled out my note from the preschool that they removed the carpet, that shut them up quick.
Hang in there. You know what to do to protect your son. You are a wonderful mother and dont ever forget it.
Who's to say that you weren't treating him with over the counter meds until you could get the prescription???.... gheez.... I would've told him to "be my guest" and see if he had better luck getting the meds any faster.... ya know, "why don't ya help me, Honey?"
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
What the hell is it with them?? Mine is the same way. ALWAYS tries to make me feel like the "inferior" parent. He is super dad and I am a horrible mommy, according to him & his warped mind. Granted we do split custody about 50/50 (though I usually have her more because he has to schedule lots of out of town trips with the girlfriend & his kickin social life) but when she is home with me he & I will be talking and I'll say something about how Angelina was being bad or how she wouldn't take a bath, etc and he'll say "She never does that to me, she always listens to me- guess it's a matter of respect" Arghh! So now I don't even tell him ANYTHING negative, so he can't use it against me.
Not only am I the "bad parent", I am also the mean one too- because I am the only one who will take her to the doctor, clip her nails, do her hair, etc. So basically he plays with her when she's with him, I do the dirty work when she's with me. So of course she loves being with him- he's a playmate. I am really starting to hate men.
Lainie
"She never does that to me, she always listens to me- guess it's a matter of respect" Arghh!
Boy, do I hear you there! I am the primary disciplinarian, so I am seen as "mean." If DS does something wrong, I call him on it. This past winter, DS started being disrespectful to me at his karate tournament, and I reprimanded him. Ex said, "He doesn't act that way with me because I'm nice to him."
Yeah....ok. There's a big difference between being nice and an overly permissive, over-indulgent....well, I won't use the exact word I'd like here, but you get the picture.
Trust me, you're no alone in this one. I often feel like the bad guy, too.
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I can totally understand where you're coming from. I can actually visualize that exact exchange happening between my ex and me. They sound as if they are cut from the same cloth. Let him bring it up in court. You did what you could to get the medicine, that's obvious--the delays were not your fault. Yes, allergies make kids miserable and crabby, but they're not life-threatening. I'd love to hear a judge's reaction to that allegation.
I like a quotation that is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, who actually had rather an inferiority complex in her early life. "Nobody can make me feel inferior without my permission".
Now, repeat after me...I do not give him my permission to make me feel like a bad mommy. I know I'm a good mommy. I'll repeat that too.
Thanks!
Hugs~ Lexi
"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown