Making Progress...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2006
Making Progress...
1
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 3:08pm

I am here hoping for some encouragement and positive thoughts to come my way.

I'm in the middle of a devistating divorce. My stbx had a girlfriend when he asked for a divorce so he has moved on very quickly. I spent several months fighting the inevitable...he was seriously not coming back and I kept trying to get him back one way or another (both good & bad ways).

Now I have made progress and am trying my hardest not to call him and to stop looking for him to come home and fix everything. At this point he isn't even someone I would like to have as a friend...he lies, manipulates, not to mention the cheating and all that.

I have a hard time moving on and accepting that he's no longer going to be there for me when I want or need him. I just have a dificult time with the person he has become. It feels like one day he woke up and decided he was going to be someone new.

TIA, Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 8:46pm

HUGS, and welcome!


It is SUCH a hard thing to accept that our spouses have changed for the worse...during the marriage or at the end of it. There's something so painful and raw about it.


You don't mention how long you've been apart, but give yourself time to develop a new and fulfilling life. And don't listen to people who tell you that you should be over it already. Divorce is like a death, and we need to go through the stages of grief on our own time - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Most people don't movie through these stages in a nice, neat order. Sometimes, we get stuck, or move backward.