Manipulation of my poor daughter!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Manipulation of my poor daughter!
11
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 4:45am

Errrr!!! I am so SO furious at him. Not sure why i expect more ... should know better by now.


He is still getting mad at dd (age 6) for "not calling him" if a day or 2 goes by, which is SO rare, & he blames her, says stuff like "I am not taking her calls, you guys go live your little perfect life, she obvioulsy doesnt need ME

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 8:38am

Oh rebecca everytime I read what this donkey does to your beautiful little one I just want to drive down and kick the crap out of him. Doesn't he get it?? Doesn't he get that he is chipping away at her little by little? Doesn't he get that he's damaging her?

What a creep.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

Hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 10:51am

I was *just* laying in bed last night thinking "I wonder how Rebecca and Averey are doing?"


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 10:55am

*happy gasp*

Just wanted to tell you that Rosie says the SAME thing about loving me more and "NO WAY am I telling that to Dad. He'd get REALLY mad!!!!!"

I don't think these men will EVER understand how their relationships with their daughters are shaping their entire lives, no matter how many times a trained professional tells them.

The trained professionals keep telling me to "just keep doing what you're doing", so I am!

I'm sorry for his issues and for Averey! *hug*

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 12:29pm

you know rebecca - while i was reading your post, i wsa thinking back to when my DS was younger and his father ignored him and played games. and one of the things that i told my DS back then was, that in the Bible (the old testament) it says 'honor your father and mother' and it doesn't say 'love your father and mother' and it was my opinion that there is a very good reason that it doesn't say 'love' because there are some times that we CAN'T love them and there are people who are just unlovable by us, for whatever reason. i think that its important that your dd doesn't feel guilty about what she feels - and for the record, i think you handled this beautifully

the only thing i would beware of is your dd developing these 'enabling' modes which she is already doing and which you are already trying to put an end to.

hang in there - you are doing a fantastic job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 2:37pm
It is truly, and honestly COMPLETELY disturbed for him to bring up the topic of getting back together with his CHILD. It is honestly one of the most manipulative, cruel things I think I've heard him do in a LONG time. If he has something to ask you, he needs to have the guts to speak with you directly, not use Avery as a go-between. As usual, he wants to place the blame of the marriage ending on you, while he did nothing to sustain in while he was actually IN the marriage. Grrrr....




Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 5:35pm
My STBX did that.... told our 19 y/o son that he was talking to me to see if I would "let" him come home, so that "we could be a family again". The jagoff put it all on ME... what's wrong with these jerks?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 9:26pm
Ummm....isn't your divorce final??!! And, if so....is he somehow unaware of this little fact?!!!!! Doesn't he get it? Well, obviously not, duh... But seriously, he's never going to stop, is he? He is just going to keep on messing with her to get to you. It seems as though your very mature, very intelligent little girl is more of an adult than her father is. One of these days she is going to really be able to see what is going on and she will so appreciate what you've done for her and she will so resent her father for what he's doing to her now. He's digging his own grave. He is going to end up ruining his relationship with Avery. What a jerk....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:26pm

You guys are so unbelieveable wonderfully supportive! If anything, at least I can jump on here & vent away!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:31pm

That's probably a very good idea ;-)


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:57pm

hehehe ... cant WAIT to try that!


I sort of did the other day. He flips out "WHY???" when I forward my house calls to my cell. I never "did that in the past" according to him. UNBEKNOWNEST to him the reason i do it is when i rent out the house .... which i have NOT told him about.

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