Many losses
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Many losses
| Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:48pm |
Well I went to see a therapist, because I'm not getting over this divorce very easy. She said next to a death in the family, divorce is the next biggest grief. She said, you have so many losses. Your family, friends, lifestyle, home. You loose all that, and people want you to just be okay. I realize, many people get over it very quickly.....but I didn't, I feel very alone, and unhappy, and I miss my old life. If anyone has a similar story, or advice, I would love to hear it.
Thanks for listening

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Take care. Hugs, Brenda
PS I hope for us that divorce isn't like a never ending funeral. May God Bless Us All.
Hugs, Brenda
Oh I am SO so sorry, for you and for your boys. Do they see the school counselor or other therapists? If your insurance covers it, I would definitely send them. Family therapy for the three of you might help.
It breaks my heart to hear how powerfully it affects them. I hope it gets better soon for all of you.
Please, as a person of faith, look into DivorceCare for both you and the boys. I think it may be marvelous and a gift and help you all try to build a life for the future.
I will pray!
M
Hello Pink,
I wasn't married but exclusive with someone for 5 years and been engaged for 1.5 and now it's coming to an end.
I agree 100% this is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Very different then a death in the family in certain ways.
It's a very fresh loss for me and I feel like a ghost. I don't know what to do. It's a very depressing situation. So much time invested. I loved her child from her previous marriage so much and now it's all gone.
I'm going to try to better myself and focus on my defects in the mean time. I've always been somewhat retarded (and I don't mean that to be rude to anyone) when it comes to relationships. I don't know HOW to show love. I don't know why that is. It's so tough for me and once again it has now killed me.
I feel like such a lost soul.
I'm having such a hard time. :(
Your therapist is spot on. I have been apart from my ex for 7 months and divorced for 3 months and there are still days when I feel like wailing, just letting go and really crying hard -- so I do. Then I have other days when things are bright and positive.
I miss my old life, too. I miss him, I miss our converstions, I miss our snuggles, I miss making love, I miss talking about the world, I miss our family life, I miss so many, many things. It would be odd if we did not miss our previous lives, eh?
I know it will change for you and for me. This week is very, VERY hard for me. Not because of V-Day but because we would have been together for 6 years on Thursday. It's the day we met, it's also the day we got married. I am going to give myself permission to do 2 things that day. 1 - Watch the wedding video and have a box of tissues handy and 2 - do something lovely for myself, get a manicure, or a massage.
We can grieve but we also have to move on. I am thinking of you Pink -- you are not alone!
E
Edited 2/13/2007 12:43 am ET by book_gurl
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
Brenda,
If your kids have threatened suicide... it's not your husband's choice as to whether or not they should have therapy.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi, pink,
I'm so glad you have this wonderful community to help you deal with your relationship problems.
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I agree with Karen; enlist the school couselors; the boys poor grades are sign enough they may need help. Get the court's help if necessary.
As for praying for your h's return -- I know I do not know what it is like for you, but I think it is safe to say that none of you will heal until you pray for the future, not the past. After this long you need to move on to have a life for you and your boys. Yes, acknowledge the grief and pain, but keep moving forward too.
At least that is my advice to myself.
I hope it gets better!
M
Thanks for the advice.
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
Well I need to get back to work.
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
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