Many losses

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Many losses
23
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:48pm

Well I went to see a therapist, because I'm not getting over this divorce very easy. She said next to a death in the family, divorce is the next biggest grief. She said, you have so many losses. Your family, friends, lifestyle, home. You loose all that, and people want you to just be okay. I realize, many people get over it very quickly.....but I didn't, I feel very alone, and unhappy, and I miss my old life. If anyone has a similar story, or advice, I would love to hear it.

Thanks for listening

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: pink331
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:11pm

I hear what you're saying... but... more than half of the children in the United States are living in split family units.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: pink331
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:51pm

Hugs to you, too, Brenda. I am sorry it hurts so much.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
In reply to: pink331
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:58pm

wow Brenda,

i could've written your post--my STBX doesn't believe in professional counseling either for our 11-year-old twin DSs, who STBX is custodial parent, having "scared" me into letting him raise them over a nasty $20K custody battle & his consistent doom-and-gloom speech regarding the "next 3 years" if they don't have an "overdose of Daddy" over the next 3 years, i might as well get ready to visit them in jail!!

he also doesn't believe that DS1 has and has been diagnosed by a doctor with ADHD, and will not give him his medication. said he is normally hyperactive, despite him literally failing in school; says he simply needs "patterns" and "routines" in his life. i get so tired of it all and feel that i've ultimately failed my sons & just hope that they don't grow to despise me because i wanted to stop alllll the fighting for their sake and allow them to be raised with a father, opposed to not seeing him at all, totally absent from their lives if i would've taken over, custody-wise.

it's hard all the way around; my life, i fear, will never be the same--i fear that i'll never let go of this intense anger and contempt i have for my STBX for coming into my life and devastating it beyond anything ever imaginable. i pray for peace, but it seems like the anger keeps festering! and i hate that while i'm over here angry and bitter, he goes on to be happy with our sons & a soon-to-be live-in GF, which possibly could raise my boys (i often feel distraught at this recurring tape in my head), the feeling of being "pushed out", invisible, insignificant, and replacable for doing allll the right things i was supposed to do as a mother and wife--and i end up in this constant state of depression and he**!

i am seeking the Divorce Care support counseling, since typical counseling didn't seem to work for me.

but hugs to you, i soooo can relate to wanting the best for our sons!!

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