Marriage destroyed by sexual abuse accus
Find a Conversation
Marriage destroyed by sexual abuse accus
| Sun, 05-27-2007 - 1:08am |
Well my marriage has been destroyed because of an accusation of sexual abuse that was made in Jan. this year, from my daughter. The sad thing is the CPT did not find any evidence to whether it is true or not. My husband says he did not do it and my daughter says he did. No physical evidence, no witnesses, so how do I know. How do I ever know? Because of this accusation and there being no actual proof, he was never arrested, never charged, how do we go on? The CPT had us both sign a "Saftey Plan" Keep in mind there is nothing legal this is all "volantary", He is to not be alone with the children. We have three by the way. He is to go to conciling, and she is to continue with conciling. Because of my own unsurity of his innocence he has decided to leave me and has since moved in with another woman. SO my question is how do I move on and how do I deal with my marriage ending when I didn't want it to end. I loved my husband, I still probably do. Does love die after thirteen years in just a few months? Any ideas?

Pages
Forgive me, but I do not know what the "CPT" acronym means.
First off, I would keep the daughter in counceling. This story just does not sound complete. I'd want to know exactly, word for word, what your daughter said. Was her initial statement video-recorded? Has she spoken or elaborated of her abuse since that first day?
Regardless of what the school says, or the professionsals, you are the parent, and its not only your right but your responsibility to discuss this with her.
The lack of action by the local authorities (police, children's services, et al) means nothing -- its neither an indicator of guilt or innocense.
I would not rush into a divorce. Until you can establish guilt or innocense to your satisfaction, I would do nothing but focus on the daughter. I'd consider a thorough OBY/GYN visit, with a female doctor (clue her in to see if there's any evidence of sexual activity).
I'd also look into the CPT person -- what are their qualifications?, has this happened before? How much of the accusation was your daughter's words versus ideas and conjecture ?
Please stay in touch.
It is very hard when someone you love betray's you so badly. If he has molested your child that is the worst betrayal. Cheating, drugs, gambling, nothing is as bad as this kind of betrayal. I wish you luck, you will need it.
Great post oldnimrod.
Its hard to know truthfully but it is good the mom got the child out of the situation and assumed the child is telling the truth. Eventually the truth hopefully will surface.
There was a case locally where a teenage daughter accused her father of sexual abuse, he was removed from the home, brought to trial and then she FINALLY admitted she lied about it only at the point it was going to court, but by then the entire family was torn apart. Divorce happened because he felt betrayed by his wife for not believing him it was a horrible thing for the town because you know how small towns can be, it was in the papers all the time. You are donned a pedophile then it's stated you aren't but for awhile it was thought it was. It was an awful thing for people to get their head around.
Hugs to the OP. I feel for you this must be an impossible situation to be in.
Smile,
Deirdre
Pages