Marriages don't "fail"
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| Thu, 05-12-2005 - 5:41pm |
I often see and hear people refer to their marriage "failing". I really dislike that phrase. That only makes sense if a marriage is a contest or competition, a challenge to stay together until death do you part. That's not at all what I think marriage is about.
I don't see divorce as a failure at all. Because I don't see marriage as a longevity contest. It's the joining together of two people who share love, and friendship, and companionship, and care for each other so much that they want to live together. When the nature of that relationship changes, and they no longer want to live together, that's not a failure, it's a change. The goal of marriage isn't to die married to each other, it's to live happily together. To the extent that a marriage is happy for any length of time, it is a success. When it's over, it hasn't "failed", it's just ended. My marriage was successful for a long time, and now it's over, and I'm moving on to the next stage in my life.
(I just wanted to share these thoughts with you folks, because this attitude was so helpful to me in getting thru the tough times).

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Anyway, I'm glad to hear you aren't bitter (except about the girlfriend). Hope you aren't hurting too much, or for too much longer.
Take care,
maria
Maria....
PG is very sorry to hear about the demise of your 27 year marriage.
That took great courage.
Your daughters love you, and respect will come with time.
I think you are already starting to discover just how strong you are.
Self respect will grow with time, too.
My heart goes out to you, and I wish you peace, & strength, & happiness,
and success.
- L.
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