Marriage...What's the Use?
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Marriage...What's the Use?
| Sun, 10-22-2006 - 12:24am |
Had a blow-out with the STBX (but not soon enough) again tonight and just wanted to vent. I know this discussion title might get mixed reactions but it's just the point I'm at right now. Anyone else relate??? I'm so aggravated...ugggghhhhh!

Hi Slim262,
Boy, your post sure brings back memories for me.
I was out with, at that time, my STBX "discussing" "the Divorce". We were at a local bar and it was a promotional night for "Rickers Red" With the order, you received a complimentary "glass" to take home. I told the waitress that since we were discussing our divorce, this could be a "commemorative glass" our "Divorce Glasses" She was quite shocked. I thought it was perfectly logical.
I had no children with hubby. Had 2 step children. One grown 23, and one 17. That was 1997. And today, 2006, I cannot honestly remember the anger I felt. But I know I was PISSED at the time. (He left me for a 21 year old-and yes, daughter was PISSED too) I decided, at the time, to join a support group and deal with the feelings that I probably didn't want to deal with but knew I better if I wanted to move on. It was a great group. We were all "dumped" women. The divorce did not become final until well after we lived apart, 2004.
I still believe in marriage. I think it is important if you are planning certain events in your life. Like children. If you are planning to be kid free, then there are way more choices today. But when kids are involved, the protection for married people is more extensive than common-law people.
I had to make a decision about what I wanted in my life. Life after a failed marriage. I knew is was going to be kid free. My primary love is to travel and see the world and go back to university upon retiremenet. My partner had to be into those things too. We own home together, have separate bank accounts, investments and retirement plans. But, under the eyes of the law, we are "married", common law. When we bought our house, our lawyer mentioned it. Made sure we understood. And it feels Ok with us. Just the way it is.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a very specialized contract between 2 people that deals with issues definitely outside of "normal business" practices.
I think that you are in the right "head space" now. Having to deal with the STBX still with conflicting emotions "awash" is very difficult. And this board is a great place to "vent" and hear "divorce stories".
I hope you are successful in your new life. And that it is not too painful a process, and is not long and drawn out. And doesn't cose you a fortune! I lost about $30,000.00 in equity.
You will lose things, but hopefully not yourself or your dreams.
gale4c_Gail
I think they should make marring some one much harder then it is today , and in your cause