My husband & I have
Hi. The smartest thing you can do is take your legal questions to an experienced divorce attorney. Don't speculate and don't ask a non-attorney for advice. Pay someone their hourly fee for one hour of their time and get answers. Whether you stay or go, you will benefit from having a clear understanding of your legal rights and responsibilities in the event of a divorce.
I'd also ask if you two have ever done any marriage counseling? If that's a "no" then I'd encourage you to seek the advice of an experienced couples counselor to get perspective on your marriage. It seems to me that your husband has "quit" both his working life and the marriage for some reason. Finding out that reason might go a long way to helping you either get back on track in your marriage or making a decision to end it.
It sounds like you have lost perspective for each other and maybe you need to consider creating some healthy space so the respect and communication can rebuild...
Don't jump into divorce - you sound angry and that is the worse time to plan and plot... and you will be unable to focus. Everything will be amplified and the time it has been going on sounds liek there is much to 'undo' .... but you can do it ..
Consider a plan to create some space and then see if you can find yourself and your relationship again. Look after yourself and nuture love inwards ..... not anger outward at him ... you might find it all starts to change and you can regain the love and respect
Divorce takes ages and is arduous ... so why not spend that same amount of energy trying to make a difference first. You just never know what might happen. Think positive.... Love yourself.... be fantastic and bit by bit you may find you can start to communicate and respect the issues that are threatening your marriage. But it will take time .....but, hey, so does divorce ....
No you probably would not get full custody and I can't imagine why you would even ask for it if you say he is a great father--shouldn't he have at least joint custody?