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MATCH.COM
| Sun, 07-16-2006 - 1:27pm |
I would like to know if anybody's relationship was affected by match.com. I met my ex-husband on match.com and found out that he was still frequenting the site after we got married (along with swingers websites). However, it continued to progress to the point where I found him on the sites all of the time. After our divorce was final, I came to find out that he started to email women months before. SHOULD I BE HURT? HAS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED PROBLEMS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP DUE TO INTERNET DATING SITES?
Thanks,
Kristi

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Are you in counseling? If you can, try to go talk to someone. I am speaking from experience because I married someone very similar only I didn't realize it as early. I have two children with this person. It can seriously make you feel crazy and doubt yourself. I mean anyone that knows me describes me as smart, well adjusted, nice etc. I generally excel at whatever I try. I am not some loser but boy did I feel that way while getting out of my marriage. How could I have married him in the first place? What was so wrong with me that I tried to make this work? Do any of those questions sound familiar? I do have some codependency issues so I am working that out but the reality is there's nothing that is horribly wrong with me. I've got the average human flaws. This is HIS issue and I need to realize that and quit beating myself up. You do too. Sure, you are going cry and be hurt. You are going to struggle because losing out to addictions/mental issues is just painful and confusing. This hurts. You will be ok though. You made a mistake and trusted the wrong person. You'll do better next time. Don't ever beat yourself up for doing what humans are meant to do...love. Keep coming back and if you ever need to talk privately, let me know and I'll shoot you my email.
Kimberly
Thanks for the nice words Kimberly....I would like to have your email....It seems like you know exactly how I am thinking.....
Kristi
i don't really think that the problem is because of 'match.com' or any of the sites
i think that this kind of behavior has been going on forever. there are people who see marriage or a committed relationship as something sacred, and there are people who don't . if there wasn't match.com, there would be single bars, and before single bars there were other places where people would meet. cheating - IMHO - is not about *opportunity*, its about morals. people who don't cheat - don't not cheat because 'its not available' or something like that. they don't cheat because it is their choice not to cheat. and vice versa.
your ex sounds like a piece of horse droppings (no offence but geez, what a prince). the problem is that when these SOBs act like the way they do, we let them get away with it "this time", they promise to change, we beliee them, and so on. Do yourself a favor - he is what he is, accept that, and try to move on. try to focus on YOU, on fixing YOUR issues, on taking care of yourself. investing any more time and energy on trying to figure him out would be a waste of your resources.
I remember when it dawned on me that my ex (then-husband) is just a liar and manipulator and abusive SOB. i remember how hard it was for me to admit that *this* is who he is.
hugs...
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