Maybe I should stress this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Maybe I should stress this...
3
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 1:54pm

First of all I was very confused by the responses to my previous post because half of them seem to be directed towards someone else completely.

But its kind of offensive to say that I bash my ex in front of my kids, when I do not. I dont correct them when they disrespect him because he does deserve it. He needs to see what he has done to them, they were NEVER like this before. They are hurting. They disrespect him when I am there or not, he doesnt know how to discipline them. If my daughter continues to call me and tell me he hit her, pushed her up the steps, grabbed her by her throat...she has every right to be mad with him and I believe she needs to get that out so he can see exactly what he is doing to her. The fact that the cops do not take me seriously when I have voicemails to prove it also makes me sick. Yet I have to take them there to see him? Crazy. He is messing my kids up emotionally in horrible ways and I can only control what I do. Even the counselor knows this...he needs to work on them the right way and talk to them, so they dont disrespect him, that its not my issue to handle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 4:59pm
Harponi, you are both using the kids as pawns. If he is treating them poorly it IS your issue and you need to step up, document it, and go to court to get supervised visitation for him, not allow it to continue and take pleasure in your kids hating him for it. You need to remove yourself and your kids from the drama, not contribute to it. I hope you get some counselling and some legal advice and do the right thing for your kids. What YOU are doing and not doing right now is harming them. You can and should be focused on protecting them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 9:59am
I am so sick and tried of people saying my kids are used as pawns. They are not! The court is saying that until the custody court date...he can take them when he wants to. This is not right as my children DONT want to be with him. This is not my doing, this is his. Your message sounds like something he would say...or has. If my kids dont want to be around him and his mother because they treat them so badly, they shouldn't be around them. They are old enough to decide if they want to go or not, and he has not respected that they don't want to. His mother had made my daughter stand outside with no coat on in the freezing cold, as a form of punishment. I dont know why this is considered as them being pawns because I don't like the bahvior they have all shown.I am not getting joy out of my kids disliking him, there is just nothing I can do to paint a better picture of him to my kids, when everytime I do...he treats them badly, doesnt call them back...whether it be physically or otherwise (they tried to talk to him all weekend and he never answered or called them back, if they are scared to be with him, its IS my responsibility to keep them away. I can only do so much from my end. I cant force him to treat them any certain way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:12am

Maybe you can talk to your kids about what is OK for dad to do... and not do... and if their dad is being abusive toward them, THEY need to call 911 and get help.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~