mediation is starting and I am so sad...
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| Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:16pm |
I am not sure what I am looking for really - just a chance to vent some feelings I guess.
My husband and I are going to begin the process of divorce mediation later this week. I am so sad that my marriage is ending. Those of you have read my story know that I found out just a few weeks ago that my husband had an affair - the affair was really just his excuse to leave a marriage he hasn't been happy in (although I had been and was oblivious to his feelings on this). I have been so hurt, angry, sad since the news came out and since I realized my marriage is ending.
He wants to get the divorce done quickly - put it all behind him and move on with his life. I wish I could feel the same. What I really want is to be with him and to keep our family together. There is no chance of that (and I realize that, I am not holding out any kind of hope). It is just so sad. I am having a hard time keeping in an analytical frame of mind. I am so emotional. I think preparing for the mediation has made me realize that my marriage *really* is ending.
My emotions are still all over the place, I feel like I am going crazy. He doesn't seem to understand my feelings very well (although he did give me a hug while I was crying).
Any suggestions, how am I going to get through this? (this meaning the divorce, the whole mediation process, him still living in the house, trying to deal with the financial issues, etc) I know you don't have a magic solution (though I wish someone did) - I guess I just want to know that I am not all alone as I face this.
~Hurtnlost

I know how you feel.
It is just so nice to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I am sorry you are having to go through this as well. We sat down tonight and started working on the paperwork together. It is really hard to sit there and focus on the facts rather than on my feelings.
I think it just helps me to know that I am not alone (not that I wish this situation on anyone) & neither are you.
~Hurtnlost
Hurt,
In every divorce one person has emotionally left the marriage months or years before they actually walk out the door. That's why it appears your STBX is so ready to move on and get separate lives. He's already checked out emotionally. The physical separation and legal paperwork are final moves for him. For you it's all a shock. So, you are actually feeling normal to be in shock and experiencing all these emotions. He's had a lot of time to "divorce" himself from the marriage. You're just getting started.
My advice remains the same. Get good legal advice so you can get a fair settlement. Get counseling and/or join a support group so you don't feel isolated.
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Some commonly misspelled words on this board:
You're = contraction of "you are"; You're going away?
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
The only thing that is going to make you feel better is the passage of time.