Meeting his Daughter. Help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Meeting his Daughter. Help!!
2
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 7:33pm

Hi all!

My BF and I are both D for 2 years. We have been seeing each other for about 4 months now. I have no kids. He has 1 14-year-old daughter and she goes to boarding school. She will be home for spring break soon, and he just told her about me. She wants to meet me, and he is supportive of this. The problem?

I am a nervous wreck!!!! His parents love me, his friends too...it's all been good so far. But meeting his teenage daughter is such a threat. I am nervous for 2 reasons:

1. I feel like it is lose-lose. That is, I will be a threat to her even if she likes me. I will represent the reason her parents aren't getting back together, and I am afriad she will not like me no matter what I do.

2. I hate to admit this, but I am actually threatened of her too! I mean, she adores her dad, he adores her....I have never seen him as a dad. I don't know how I will react to them snuggling and being close. I know it sounds juvenile, but I have to be honest so I can work through it. I am afraid that I will be jealous or that we will triangulate in some way that makes us feel competetive for his attention. I DON'T WANT THIS! I want to be the "cool" new person in her life and be fun and have a nice time getting to know one another.

I am seriously dreading it. Do you have any advice? Tips?

She is an only child.

Thanks!!!
-Loves


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 9:19am
My step daughter is 11 years old. To my face she is so sweet and always wants to be with me. She goes home and tells her mom untrue stories. Her mother calls my husband wanting to know why he lets me talk to her daughter that way. Girls are vicious sometimes. I do not get jealous when she is hugging on her dad. He has me every day and night. She only has him a couple of days a week. I back off. She is a child and needs her father. Do not expect her to accept you at first. How is the child's mother? I think that has a lot to do with the child's reaction. My husband's ex makes my step daugher feel guilty for wanting a relationship with me. So if anybody in my situation is jealous, it is the ex wife. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 9:33am

Act Natural, act as friend and act