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|Tue, 08-20-2013 - 8:57pm|
I don't know if this is where this should be posted, but...I was looking through old family pictures tonight. My oldest DD will be turning 30 next year, so I want to do something special for her. I thought maybe I'd scan some pictures and get a Shutterfly book made for her of her childhood. Don't know if it'll mean much to her or not, but can't think of anything else.
Ok...so anyway, DD's father and I have been divorced since 2008. We were married for 25 years and he broke my heart. I basically suffered a breakdown, but with God's grace, I picked myself up and moved forward. My ex and I are both remarried and have no communication as our DDs are all grown so no need. Anyway, what struck me was the feeling of sadness that grabbed me as I looked at these pictures from my past. I felt sad for the family we were supposed to always be and are no longer. Does this feeling ever go away when it wasn't YOU who wanted the divorce? No doubt my ex is perfectly happy with how everything turned out and I'm happy with my dh, but it still makes me sad. My DD28 is getting married next year and I keep thinking about the way the "family" picture that will be taken SHOULD have looked...not with 2 stepparents in it.
So, I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has experienced these feelings as I have. We were a family for so long...I think that's what makes it so hard. I saw our future as a family continuing on to weddings, grandchildren's birthdays, etc...
I don't miss my ex by any means, but the family thing really got to me. Personally, I think it must be easier to get divorced after a much shorter period of time like a cousin of mine did. Not as many memories as an intact family.