Men are dumb
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Men are dumb
| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 3:15pm |
. I'm very young, I got married eight months ago and I moved from my home state to my husbands home state which is 549 miles from where I am from. I was living up there with him and he recently just got a traveling job and was sent far away for like two weeks, so being that I did not go home for christmas I decided to go home while he was away. Later during the week he called me at my moms and said he was going to be working there for a really long time so I got all upset and I said I would just stay down at my moms until he was done b/c I didnt really know anyone where we lived. Well he got mad and said he was done and he wanted a divorce b/c he didnt want to have to worry about a woman's feelings when he had to work.........I didnt believe him so when I flew home he called and again and said we were over so I packed all my stuff and moved back home. That was so hard and painful, well two weeks later he called saying he was being irrational and he wanted to work things out so I said ok as long as he complied with my rules and he agreed. Well we have been working on things a little but I want to see him so im working down here and i said i wanted to fly to visit him where he is and he says that he came promise he will be there b/c they switch places alot and he never knows where he is going to be so i said if you dont want to see me than just tell me and he said he would but that's not what it is he dont know where is going to be so its like a never ending story..............he's an ass what do you think i should do

ashley_s90....
3 quick thoughts from Pianoguy:
1. You married too young.
2. You married the wrong man.
3. Marriage is a partnership...not a long-distance correpondence.
Nuff said!
Pianoguy
Honestly, I think you are getting a very hard, honest lesson on "real life." How old is your husband? Judging by what you have said (reading between the lines) I'm assuming (maybe completely wrong) that it was a online relationship. I think both of you are way too young to have gotten married. Marriage is a committment. It's based on love, trust, dedication, communication, commitment and lots and lots of forgiveness. It sounds as though he's trying to hide something (or someone) from you. Sit down with him and have a heart to heart. I can't figure out why a newlywed would not want to see his bride after being away for a while unless there was something to hide. He should be wanting you to know every place he will be for the immediate future. If he doesn't, there is a major communication problem. If he's not willing to cooperate with making the marriage work, then cut your losses, count it as a huge lesson learned about what you don't want and get out of the marriage. That's my two cents. I'm with pianoguy, you married too young and the wrong guy.
I do need to point out that not all men are dumb/stupid or jerks. My father has helped me become the strong woman that I am. My older brother is a wonderful father and husband to my sil. It takes two to make a marriage work. We all make mistakes in life. Many times men get bad-mouthed, but women make the same mistake that men do; however, men are more likely to bear their pain silently because of the many incorrect, social stigmas. In my job, I see quite a few men who are great guys--wonderful husbands/boyfriends and fathers. I do see some that are not quite so wonderful, however, I see a lot of women who don't deserve the wonderful gifts (their kids) that they have been given. Bottom line is no one is perfect and it is not fair to anyone to be judge solely on their gender.
Edited 3/12/2007 12:57 am ET by overwhelmed76
Edited 3/12/2007 1:00 am ET by overwhelmed76