Mind Games

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Mind Games
28
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 9:09am

I've posted before that my STBX is an alcoholic. He quit his latest job on january 12 and has not worked since. he has no money, no food, nothing.

Our DD (age 10) misses her father terribly. So last night, she decided that she wanted to stay the night at daddys house. I dropped her off, and STBX said to her:

"well DD, i don't know what we are going to have for breakfast tomorrow morning, because daddy doesn't have any food or money to buy it."

so, DD looks to me and says "mommy, can daddy come to our house tomorrow morning for breakfast?"

now what am i going to say, NO, your father is loser and shouldn't have quit his job? so i said ok, sure. 10 am will be fine. we'll have brunch.

now, this is the kicker:

stbx looks at me and says, "i almost passed out this morning." knowing that he is out of bp meds, i asked if it was related to no medication. (there is a free clinic close by that he can get meds AND we have a good friend who is a cardiologist, he would give him meds to get by, but STBX wont ask)

and he says to me, "no, i am only eating one meal a day and i am so hungry." he said this in front of our daughter. now, before anyone judges me, stbx also has a tobacco habit. he went to the convenience store to buy his "Dip" before i dropped dd off. 2 cans of dip is about $9.00. he could have purchased 2 chili dogs for $1.50 if he was that hungry.

what kind of BS mind game is this??

what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 9:51pm

Are you talking about MY X????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:01pm
I actually had my childs counselor send a letter to the courts a year ago, she stated the the child was in imenant (sp???) danger with her father, who was an active alcoholic, mentally ill & unmedicarted & making suicidal statments WITH the child in his care ...... & they did NOTHING.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:05pm
Yep - 2 peas in a pod. JERKS.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:07pm
You know what? FORGIVE YOURSELF.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:11pm
Sometimes this is NOT an option - unless you want to do it illegally & be in contempt of court.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:18pm
I hate the way it works.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: whatabadidea
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:23pm
Getting OUT was what may save your child. Believe me ... .living IN an alcoholic household is like a festering wound. Sure, we all wish we could have done it sooner, b/c yes, our kids have horrid memories - BUT ... you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
In reply to: whatabadidea
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 7:34am

rlch

thank you so much for your responses. at times, i feel so alone. my friends have no clue what i am dealing with. my father actually yelled at me on sunday for "being nice to him". that hurt, because he was right, AGAIN. :-)

my DS, age 15, has really blossomed since we moved out. he is like a totally different kid. he eats dinner with me, talks to me, helps out with his sister, (he still picks on her) he no longer sits in front of his computer for hours on end, he goes outside with his friends, plays hockey. he hasn't been in trouble in a long time. (he was on a six month probation for fighting) homework is done. its really impressive. he doesn't talk to his dad everyday, and i don't make him. he is growing into a young adult, and i believe he sees the destruction alcohol can have on a person and a family.

my dd, age 10, different story. she is not an emotional child, but since i told her that i was divorcing daddy, she has been so sad. she wants to take care of everything! what a burden for a child

what

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