Mom thinking of divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Mom thinking of divorce
2
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 9:13am

Hi All,


Have a great day!

Tianshi : )

It's a danagerous business goin'

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 1:14pm
I have not been married as long as your parents but am going through a separation/divorce soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 11:11pm

My parents divorced after 35 years and, as in your case, my mother had a very difficult time making that final break. My father was also mentally abusive and suffers from bipolar disorder so I totally understood why she needed to leave. I just couldn't understand why it took her so long!


As she was making her decision, she really drove me crazy! She talked a lot about my father and how awful he is (I know that - but he's still my dad!) and I had to help her focus on her goal. I finally told her that I was there to help her, if she needed/wanted my help, but I couldn't listen to her bash my father. That's why you see a therapist!


After she left, she was very lonely and needed the support of me and my brothers and sisters. Finally, she re-established her old friendships, which had languished during her marriage, and made some new friends. Now she's so busy, I practically have to make an appointment to see her!


You need to be careful not to take sides, if you have a relationship with your father and plan to continue that relationship. I laid out the ground rules for my father too - no mom-bashing - and he complied. They both just need to be told! (And, possibly, reminded!)


Good luck!