My parents divorced after 35 years and, as in your case, my mother had a very difficult time making that final break. My father was also mentally abusive and suffers from bipolar disorder so I totally understood why she needed to leave. I just couldn't understand why it took her so long!
As she was making her decision, she really drove me crazy! She talked a lot about my father and how awful he is (I know that - but he's still my dad!) and I had to help her focus on her goal. I finally told her that I was there to help her, if she needed/wanted my help, but I couldn't listen to her bash my father. That's why you see a therapist!
After she left, she was very lonely and needed the support of me and my brothers and sisters. Finally, she re-established her old friendships, which had languished during her marriage, and made some new friends. Now she's so busy, I practically have to make an appointment to see her!
You need to be careful not to take sides, if you have a relationship with your father and plan to continue that relationship. I laid out the ground rules for my father too - no mom-bashing - and he complied. They both just need to be told! (And, possibly, reminded!)
My parents divorced after 35 years and, as in your case, my mother had a very difficult time making that final break. My father was also mentally abusive and suffers from bipolar disorder so I totally understood why she needed to leave. I just couldn't understand why it took her so long!
As she was making her decision, she really drove me crazy! She talked a lot about my father and how awful he is (I know that - but he's still my dad!) and I had to help her focus on her goal. I finally told her that I was there to help her, if she needed/wanted my help, but I couldn't listen to her bash my father. That's why you see a therapist!
After she left, she was very lonely and needed the support of me and my brothers and sisters. Finally, she re-established her old friendships, which had languished during her marriage, and made some new friends. Now she's so busy, I practically have to make an appointment to see her!
You need to be careful not to take sides, if you have a relationship with your father and plan to continue that relationship. I laid out the ground rules for my father too - no mom-bashing - and he complied. They both just need to be told! (And, possibly, reminded!)
Good luck!