More Reality

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2006
More Reality
1
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 1:30am
Hi all! I posted a few weeks ago about the beginning of the end. Well, I've since seen an attourney, and I am heartened a bit. I was worried about the whole jurisdiction thing (my STBX is in the army), but no worries there. Child support continues to be an issue - I still haven't seen a dime, and probably won't until it is legally reaquired by him - after I file. He is pretty much ignoring the whole process right now. I'm trying to be the bigger person here, but he's making it very hard. The attourney I hired was reccomended by my mother (he's a friend of hers) and it turns out he's a bit of a "pit bull" but he knows that I don't want this to turn ugly, and I am willing to give up a lot of what I may be entilted to just to have this done and keep things as "friendly" as possible. I'm wondering whether that is going to work or not, because no matter what action I take, it is seen as vindictive by my STBX. My attourney suggested that we try to talk through as many issues as we can in order to expidite the process and save time and money, and I have tried, but communication is a 2 way street, and I'm getting nothing in the other direction. The latest is our vehicles. In some odd twist of fate, the little commuter sedan is solely in my name (which he currently has) and the mini van is soley in his name (which I currently have). That is probably an easy fix with some refinancing and what not, but I have only been working full time for a short while and am by no means able to afford refinancing, so I brought this up to my attourney. He seemed to think it is a small issue, and even said that switching "custody" of the vehicles wasn't necessary, and besides, why stick a single guy with a mini van? Now, here is where my mind is, I want to know why I should be stuck with the mini van just because I have the kids, aren't I about to be a single woman??? So, that made me decide to go ahead and switch them out. This means a round trip cross country drive (WA to SC and back) which will start soon in order to stay ahead of the weather. Beyond that, I am adapting to this new life. It's hard to send my 2 year old to a baysitter everyday, but it feels good to be out making my own living again. I'm taking better care of myself, and reconnecting with old friends that I let fall by the wayside during my marriage(long story.) All in all, I'm doing really well. It's by no means easy, but it is also not the end of the world. I will be ok, my kids will be ok, all will be ok!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: mother_orca
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 11:09am

It's good to hear from you.... ya know, if he's being bull headed... go ahead and ask for more than you really want.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~