Mother In Law From Well You Know Where

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mother In Law From Well You Know Where
1
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 11:24pm
Hi Everyone. I Am New To This Site. I Was Just Looking For A Place Where People Know What I Am Going Threw. Talking To My Friends Help But They Dont Understand And They Always Talk About Their Bf/Husband. I Can Say That I Just Want To Stop Crying. Some Days I Am Like Okay This Is For The Better Then I See Him And My Heart Breaks All Over Again.. And I Dont Know Why I Still Love Him.. He Tells Me That The Reason Why He Wants A Divorce Is Becuase I Cant Get Along With His Mother.. Well I Was Being Nice To Her And We Went Out And Did THings Togther But Recently She Wrote Me A Email Saying That Was A Bad Wife And Mother. We Have 2 Boys. So I Then Wrote Her Back And I Dont Think My Email was That Bad Becuase I Just Put Everything Out On The Table. Well She Sent It To All His Family Members And Now They All Hate Me. And Thats Why He Wants This. And It Hurts And I Cry And I Want To Stop!! How Can He Choose His Family Over The Family He Wanted To Have.... And Everytime We Agree On SOmeting He Talks To Mommy And She Tells Him Not To Agree On It.. And She Is Giving Him Money For A New Car, Apartment And Everything He Wants She Will Give Him.. And I Think Its Just Wrong To Give Up On A Marriage Becuase Of Your Family.. I Have Giving Up A Lot For Him And I Have Back Him Up When My Parents Didnt Like Him.. They Still Dont But They Would Never Talk Down To HIm Or Make Him Feel Bad About Himself And Thats What His Family Has Done To Me And I Got SIck Of It And My Email Was Nice I Didnt Point Out Her "Bad" Parenting Skills Or How Her Kids Are... I Wrote What I Felt.. I Just Want To Stop Crying And Loving HIm Becuase He Doesnt Love Me... Has Anyone Else Have MIL Problems?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 9:37am

angel_kay...

Pianoguy read your post twice...and got AN INSTANT FLASHBACK to mother-in-law #1. While his 'spouse and mom situation' wasn't exactly the same as the one you're going through, there are some DEFINITE SIMILARITIES.

My NOW 1ST EX WIFE could never seem to muster up the courage to tell her mom when she was sticking her nose into business that didn't concern her. For some reason, B didn't want to ruffle her Mom's feathers...so nothing ever got solved! .

It's too bad your husband doesn't feel that you are the most important woman in his life and that many of your opinions matter?

HOWEVER...if you're 'nagging him A LOT' or forcing him to make a choice between you and his family, what you've described is a NO-WIN SITUATION!

If you think that maintaining some space between you (go and visit a relative or friend for a month) might improve things...why not try? Without you around, it's clear that your husband will have to acknowledge your absence, make an attitude adjustment or two, and perhaps realize that YOUR THOUGHTS & FEELINGS COUNT AS MUCH AS HIS MOM'S?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy