Moving on

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Moving on
4
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 12:51pm

Hello to all.
Although I have been reading the posts for a little while, this is my first post.
I am a french girl married to an american GI (13 years next week). Our marriage has been a roller coaster for years, he has had many affairs, physical and emotional. We separated about 2 years ago and got back together a year later because he said he was willing to work on us, wanted his family....I beleived again we could make it work, I did say "No more women". Well a year after I moved to Hawaii to be with him, while he is now deployed, I again found out proof that he is still talking to women on the internet (some of them he knew from when we lived in DC) he tells them they are hot, how much he misses them....this man is 34 years old, we have 2 boys 13 and 5 and yet he is on my space non stop even putting pictures of him in his underwear. Since he left for the middle east, I have sent parcels everyweek, cards, answered all phone calls....I finaly had it and told him it is over. I love him but can't do this anymore. I think the hardest part for me at this point is him saying he loves me and wants this family. It is difficult to pull myself from that. He has accepted the fact that I am filling for the separation. We aren't arguing and he is willing to give me evrything ie furniture... I am not going for the divorce yet because I need the benefits from the military still. I do have a job that doesn't pay much but my boss offered me a nice raise by the summer. However, we are in Hawaii, life is soooooooooo expensive here! I am scared I won't be able to make it and raise the boys properly. I can go home back to France where all my family is but my oldest son doesn't want that because the school system is different and he has to improve his french big time. Also going home means we would have to live at my father's, I am not allowed to drive in france yet so I will be very dependant out of everybody. There is a lot on unemployement in France so I may be out of job for a while....
Anyway I guess I am just looking for advices, ideas, comment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
In reply to: frenchyie74
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 12:16am
Alors, Frenchie (je suis francophone aussi!) you are right to stay married as long as you can as each year adds to whatever benefits you will get from a military divorce. There are attorneys who specialize in military divorces.
Bonne chance
Sophie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: frenchyie74
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 3:16am
Merci Sophie, tu es d'ou?
Avatar for lisacolette
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
In reply to: frenchyie74
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 2:09am

Salut frenchie74!

If you do decide to go to France, your son *will* get the hang of the French language rather quickly. I was an exchange student abroad and it was difficult at first, but being thrown into the culture and language is the best and quickest way to learn it. He should think of it as an adventure and not as a curse.

Good luck to you,

LisaColette

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: frenchyie74
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 1:12am
Thank you so much for your king words....it makes me feel better about derooting him.