Mrs. Guilty
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Mrs. Guilty
| Tue, 07-25-2006 - 6:56pm |
I think Im in the right forum here...after all of the postings I have read, I realize what really strong women are about. I am looking for a way out of my marraige. I have been having an affair for the last year. Married 18 yrs with 4 cildren. Most of these years have been brutally hard emotionally financially, and otherwise. My husband drank from sun-up to the time he passed out for 9 of these years while I quietly sat by and did my co-dependant thing..we have gone through so much. He is now working at a high paying job, and has been for many years and treats me much better, nearly suffocating me with attention. I do not love this guy any longer, but again, stay because of the children. I'm am so unhappy, and he keeps me in place with either guilt or pretending that everything is fine, and the fact that we are married, so, thats that. I can barely get through my workday, being so unhappy, if anyone has any thoughts or advise, please be brutally honest...Thanks

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Hi there.... I'm sorry you are in a situation where you feel like divorce is the next step for you.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
You are 100% accurate that I don't know your entire situation. I also can appreciate the fact that you didn't "plan" an affair. Affairs aren't usually planned. And I do understand your being betrayed in other ways by your husband, trust me. However, it is my opinion, and that is all it is, an opinion, that you would have personally been better off leaving him first. And I definately think that, regardless of how good your husband is doing financially now, with all the junk in your marriage from the past and now, you would just be better off with a fresh slate. But it's only an opinion, and I'm not saying that that is what I think you should do.
Yes, I do believe that infidelity is terrible. I have never felt that a miserable marriage is an excuse to make it ok. But I guess well all "survive" in different ways.
I do wish you well. I hope that you can get your life figured out so that you can be happy. We all deserve to be happy.
Well sweetheart we all make mistakes. Every single one of us. Don't beat yourself up over it(the affair), I certainly didn't mean to make you feel crappy. Can't change the past, just the future. And you have been through alot with your STBX and you so deserve to find happiness honey. Good luck to you. I will say a prayer for you tonight if you don't mind. And I would also like to apologize if at first I sounded judgemental. In no way did I mean to do that. It's just, when people cheat, even the cheater suffers. And quite frankly none of us women need anymore pain or suffering, right? :) You take care! I wish you all the best that life has to offer! I have learned from you as well.
Take care.
Many of us aren't on the Betrayed Spouses Support board because well, we're not betrayed spouses anymore - due to infidelity not on our part. So I'm sure you can understand why a lot of people on this board aren't saying "Bravo."
Noone deserves betrayal in any form.... Good luck to you and your children....
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