My daughters highschool graduation

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
My daughters highschool graduation
7
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 10:36am

My daughter is graduating highschool next week and has invited her abusive father and grandmother. She knows that I am deathly afraid of him and need someone to go with me for support. She won't let me invite my family, because she doesn't want a fight (which would be started by her father). She won't let me take my boyfriend because she hates him and my son is too young to stand up to his father. The way things stand at this point is that I won't be able to go for fear of my life.
I don't have a restraining order against him because he hasn't physically threatened me in a long time and I won't let him anywhere near my home anyway.

Yes, he will try something in public, because he has done it before in family court on several occasions.

I am scared and already had an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 3:01pm
bump, I really need input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 3:37pm
I'm wondering why the jerk dad is invited to come... and you cna't bring along anyone, knowing that he will make a scene whether you are with other people or not.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:25pm
She's inviting her jerk dad because her grandmother is dying and really wants to go. Well, I really want to go to, arn't I more important since I raised her? I guess she didn't fall far from the banana tree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2003
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 9:18pm

My daughter is also graduating this year. (congrats to us!!) Can you choose not to sit near them?? Tell your daughter that you would like a quick hug and pic with her afterwards then scat. Or- contact her school, tell them what the deal is and ask if you can have 10 minutes of the security guards time to make sure you get back to your vehicle ok. Trust me- the school is not up for the drama anymore than you are.

Good luck- Let us know what happens.

deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:10am
I invited a family friend to join, that my daughter approves of, so we'll see what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 11:01am
Keep trying to talk your daughter into letting you bring someone for support. If not, sit as far away from him as possible. Ask your daughter to ask him to leave right after the ceremony and not to hang around for pictures or anything. Maybe even find support from a school staff member - to sit with. Although I do not understand why a mom has to be alone, but an abusive father can bring her grandmother???? If you are too afraid to go, get the restraining order before you go so that he has to stay away from you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 2:21pm

nania

<<>>

you are the adult and the parent in this situation. invite whomever will make you feel better and safe. if i dare say, i think your dd is being a spoiled unreasonable child. she needs a good dose of reality. i'm sorry if that seems harsh, but she doesn't rule the household. get her situated and have your guest meet in at your seats. you are her mother and have every right to watch her graduate.

just my 2 cents.

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