My Ex Is Already Married Again!
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| Fri, 08-03-2007 - 5:58pm |
Hello! I would like to get some feedback on what y'all think about this. My ex and I have been divorced a year and a half. Yes, that is a little while, but I was shocked to find out last night from a friend that my ex has already married the girl he started seeing right after our divorce. I should say I'm shocked and not surprised at the same time. My ex is 32 years old and now on his third marriage with the new girl! He and I were married 3 years and he was married to his first wife for a year and a half.
So, have any of you experienced getting the news that your ex has married again? How did you feel? Part of me feels like I can really move on now, because if he's already married again, then it really is over.
I have talked to our old neighbors who still live by my husband and none of them think highly of his new wife. Part of me wonders if he just settled since he met her only like a week after our divorce was finalized. He met her on e-harmony and even told me he wished she'd lose some weight. My ex didn't even sound sure about her and now they're married. Strange!
Thanks for reading this!
Michelle

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If its any consolation, I'd bet that (a) he's miserable, and (b) this marriage will end soon.
Hi Michelle --
If it makes you feel any better, and it probably doesn't, my ex husband (of 20 years) and I separated in June and the divorce became final on Feb.1. He remarried on Feb.2 -- while I was in the hospital waiting on a heart transplant. And he didn't tell our two children or invite them to the wedding.
Wallis627
Some men just don't do well single. Our children were very young, and he couldn't take care of them on his own. I'm not putting men down or trying to imply that men cannot parent as well as women, I'm just saying he felt overwhelmed by himself when our children were toddlers. His marriage has not been very successful, although they are still together. His wife intensely disliked me for several years, although I had known her from before they started dating and always liked her. I suspect she was able to tell that he was not over the marriage. After 12 years, I don't think that's a concern anymore.
My 13 y.o. daughter told me a couple days ago, after spending 7 weeks at her father's home for the summer "There's not a lot of love there." This is between her father and his wife, she feels very loved by her father and knows he adores her and our son.
I wasn't bothered by his remarriage itself, but was a bit puzzled that he had called me to tell me I would always be the love of his life, then got engaged a couple of weeks later. I worried that he would be unhappy, and our children would be unhappy with him in his home. I do think he's unhappy, but the kids seem to be doing relatively ok. Not that I could have done anything about it anyway...
Cat
Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7
Hi catk1 --
I would buy into the "needs help with children" theory, but I have both the children and they are hardly children --17 and 20. He married a 28 years old with two children which the courts took away from her after they were married. He never told our two that he had remarried and when they had a second ceremony, they were not invited. They want no contact with him. My daughter (the 17-y-o) went to stay a week with him and his new wife hit her and brought blood -- he still defends her for that.
I don't think I am too depressed _ I do volunteer work, have hobbies, travel, etc... but everytime I hear his voice, or think deeply about him, I cry -- buckets. This weekend I had to go to a funeral which he also attended with his wife and I have not stopped crying since. And therapy -- I am going into my third year of it. It definitely helps, but it can't change the way I feel. I have every reason to hate this serial cheater who so hurt our children, but I can't seem to.....
Wallis627
Wallis:
That is so awful! I can't believe your ex did that to you! You poor thing! It makes what mine did sound very mild.
Did you get the heart transplant and are you doing okay now health wise?
Michelle
Hi Michelle --
Thank-you for your concern. I did indeed get my new heart -- when they had given me hours to live without one. The heart came from a 16-y-o so I am now wearing pink nail polish and lipgloss, listening to Greenday and Eneniem (sp)and wearing low rise jeans and belly shirts (I am 49). It has been very, very difficult, but I am a tough cookie --I am also a 3-time breast cancer survivor. You know, sometimes we are better off without men, we have just been conditioned to believe we have to have a man to complete ourselves and is absolutely not true. I am blessed to have 2 wonderful children who have always been there for me. And him? He is now homeless, his car was repo-ed, she had her children taken away by the courts, he lost his job and his children have nothing to do with him. I do volunteer work, travel, spend a lot of time with my children and am learning it can be good to be alone.
I wish you nothing but happiness and reemember it is there waiting for you to invite it in.
Wallis
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