my ex has said some stupid things

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
my ex has said some stupid things
27
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 7:37pm

I'm going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. I am finally not listening to his bologna. It's therapeutic for me to list off the stupid things he has ever said or done, so I'm starting a blog. I would love to hear your stories too, please email me some of the dumb things your ex has said to you, and if it's ok I relate your stories too.

For example, when I found out about his relationship with his "friend" and I told him I was divorcing him, one of his dumb responses was, "by the way, I think I have prostate cancer" He hadn't been to the doctor in 9 years and he still hasn't been to the doctor since last August. I didn't buy his attempted manipulation!!

Please tell me your stories.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 1:51am

Hey Debi,

I know what you mean about listening to his crap. I am going through the same thing. While my divorce has been final now for about 7 months and we were only together for five but he is all talk. At first it really got to me, and thats why he did it. But now I have moved on and don't give a crap for his crap.

You know the myspace website, yeah, thats where is was putting all his talk. He completely degraded me on his site for everyone and anyone to read. It was horrible. I couldn't even believe that, that came out of his mouth. But, I can look back now and laugh, well not really laugh but it doesn't bother me like it did when i heard of it first.

We have a daughter so I figured I'd have to be strong and not take anything he says to heart, just as he did not to our relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 8:13am

Thanks,

I gave my ex divorce papers last August and we're still not divorced. He decided to fight me for full custody, even though he worked 60-80 hours a week. He told the judge he was the primary care giver, took the kids to the doctor, cooked them dinner, because he a professional chef (he currently works as an asst. manager in a retail chain) etc. Then later during the same December, hearing he said, he just learned from his mom that the kids told her they go to bed hungry. How would they go to bed hungry if he's the one feeding them? He doesn't even know who the pediatrician or dentist is, and has no idea where their offices are. His lawyer said I'm a gambler and don't pay the bills. The double talking liar.

Update: As of now, he has only seen his 19 y/o daughter one time since Dec. 06. He did not make any special effort to go there, it was an annual 4th of July picnic. He has only seen his 16 y/o son once since Dec-the day his mother died. He see's his 9 y/o son about once a month. The older two had birthdays in June and he only called them one time, a week after their birthday, but I know he has talked with his new girlfriend and her 7 y/o dau on the phone at least 3000 minutes in one month. I'm not bitter, I'm disgusted and thanking my lucky stars I finally saw the light.

We have another court date in August. I will definately bring up what is necessary. I have faith he will get what is coming to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:53am

Just a few of the things the STBX has said ...

"I've been sleeping in the TOPS parking lot at night for 4 months."

"the 1 minute phone calls from her when I was at tops were wake up calls to make sure I got to work on time" (calls from 12:00 AM to 3:00 AM, worked at 8:00 AM)

"I don't take fault for sleeping with your sister, she was there too." (my favorite)

"I'm sick of them making me work 3 shifts a day"

"She's a B* ... " later turned into "So what if I'm with her"

That's all I can think of at the moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:02pm

I have another one:

You have been going to therapy for months and it hasn't helped the way you treat me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 11:14pm

I could write a book with all the ridiculous things my ex has said to me. To name a few:

"I'm not leaving you, I'm leaving the marriage"....ummm, ok?

When he told me about the crazy ex boyfriend of the OW being after him he actually asked "so what do you want me to do? do you want me to stop talking to her?"...no, please continue to have an affair.

"I can't talk about this anymore I'm trying to get rid of all the stress in my life"...you left me buddy, aren't you supposed to be happy and moving on? You left me so that you could be happy. Have you thought about my stress level idiot?

There are just so many more. I should have been writing them down from the beginning. This post has given me a good laugh though!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 9:11pm
I had to post to this one. When my ex and I started to discuss divorce he said 'I will file bankrupcy'. I did not say it out loud but I thought, you idiot you have to actually be in debt and be beyond the ability to pay your bills to file bankrupcy. Because of my financial responsibilty, we had no credit card debt and $350K equity in our property. He just took out a loan for $379K to pay off the mortgage and buy me out. He is a train wreck with money. I always handled all the finances. I anticipate a foreclosure with in a year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:54pm

Here's one from just this week:

"I really thought you'd be more supportive of me. This is really hard." - referring to the difficulties with his now emotionally unstable OW (who appears to be headed for rehab). How reasonable to expect your wife to supportive of you leaving her for another woman and then trying to get out of paying child support so you can pay her rehab expenses! Sorry I haven't been there for you more during this difficult time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 11:29pm
These are really funny stories

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:46am

Okay, I have a bunch, but I never seem to have time to type them all in - LOL. Here's one:

"I can't believe you're being so selfish here! *I'm* the one with a broken heart!"

That's what he told me when I was devastated that he was "in love" wih another woman - one who wanted NOTHING to do with him. BTW, we were married over 10 years at this point.

Melanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 9:26pm

and a couple more while I have a free moment:

"I don't know why YOU'RE so upset (that I told you I don't love you and never have) - at least you got a ten year anniversary band like you wanted!"

moments after telling me that he'll never change and if I don't like it I should call a divorce attorney -to which I responded, "I think I will do just that!"... "YOU would really do that to the kids and tear our family apart like that?! How selfish can you be?!"

"This is all about cleaning, if I cleaned the house more, you wouldn't want a divorce."

"You're so needy, you'll probably meet someone else and get married right away, but mark my words I'll NEVER get married again because I'm more independant." - spoken after several YEARS of him being unemployed/ severely underemployed while I supported him as he lay on the couch drunk.

Melanie