My ex is such a PUTZ!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My ex is such a PUTZ!!!
3
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 1:00pm

My DS(12) had his court date yesterday for the vandalism he and his friend caused a few months ago. He is on probation for one year. He has a juvenile probation officer. He has to write apology notes to everyone whose property he damaged. He has to pay ½ of the damages incurred. He has to continue talking with our family counselor and he has to get a psychiatric evaluation. Yes, the punishment does seem pretty harsh for a first offense at his age, but maybe he will learn.

So, I sent my ex (his father) an e-mail explaining what had happened. A few hours later he calls my daughter (16). He asked her about what had happened in court. Why is he calling her? She wasn’t even in court, she was at school. Why didn’t he call me? He is currently in Japan. Although I know is cell phone number, he does not get service there. So, I have no way of getting in touch with him. Which is why I sent him an e-mail.

After she tells him what she knows, he starts bad-mouthing me and my husband. How we didn’t try to get my son out of trouble (because we didn’t hire a lawyer). How we talked with the prosecutor about things he didn’t need to know (how my son is angry, he has a temper, he likes to play with fire, etc.) and made it much worse. DUH! YOU MORON-they already knew these things because they had talked with our family counselor.

Then, to top things off, he starts on my daughter. He told her she was to blame for what her brother did because she egged him on. I do not know whether on not this is true (she claims she didn’t), but he is 12 years old, he should know the difference between right and wrong. My ex keeps digging himself a huge whole with her. Before last night she stated she did not want to go with him for his 2 weeks this summer. My husband thinks because I have finally stood up to my ex, he is now going to start on my daughter. He is in for a rude awakening because she is not at all like me. She will tell him where to get off!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 3:07pm
To be honest I don't think the punishment sounds that harsh at all. I think it sounds right in line for his age. Nothing out of the ordinary. As far as your husband, sounds right in line for his continued stupid behavior. *sigh* Don't allow him to get under your skin. He really is a piece of work and probably why you divorced him in the first place.
Avatar for sportsnutmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 7:03pm
Sounds like we could have the same child. I've had problems with my 16 year old also. It started in the 7th grade with skipping school. He also had a fascination with fire,until he lit some paper on fire, used gasoline from our lawn mower (to see what would happen) and caught his leg on fire. He recieved 3rd degree burns, months of rehab, surgery...he learned a very painful lesson. This past January he was hanging around some awful kids, they broke into a small business and stole some money. He was caught, arrested, booked, fingerprinted. It was horrible!! He was charged with 2nd degree burglary. He was just sentenced to 34 hours of community service, 6 months probation and $700 restitution. I think he got off easy (thanks to a clean record)...I was ready to cart him off! He plead guilty because he was. If they are old enough to comit the crime, they are old enough to do the time. He is a on VERY short leash. We switched schools, he has no freedom and so far so good. It's been hard, very hard, but nip it in the bud now and hopfully they grow up right. You're ex needs a knock upside the head. What a jerk. Be thankful you're not married to that thing any longer. Stay strong, you'll get through this mess with your son.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 8:29am
HUGS! I just wanted to offer support since you're going through such a difficult time with your son. Then, it's coupled with the stress of dealing with an unreceptive and uncooperative ex! Given the situation, I think you have handled things in the best way possible. Hopefully, your son will soon come to understand there will be severe consequences for his actions if he continues on like this.




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