My husband left 8 weeks ago and I still can't function

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2011
My husband left 8 weeks ago and I still can't function
9
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 5:29am

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2011

Hi,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2011

I have been where you are. There is only one thing that you can do and that is stand tall and move forward. You deserve happiness too. It will come in time either with him or without him. Wake up in the morning and tell your self that you are a beautiful, intelligent, worthy person that only deserves the very best and mean it !!!! Sometimes we have to fake it till we make it.... You will have ups and downs... and as he sees that you are capable of living on your own and being an independant happy woman you just might get a suprise and you just might not want it anymore..... I know that I don't know your husband however I think that maybe you just might want to do a little spying on him.... Rarely do men leave their families so abruptly just because... I know that it has been a year since he started being a jerk but that sounds about right.... He just might have someone on the side.... It can't hurt to check it out.... I don't mean to add fuel to the fire but you might as well find out now and know one way or the other... No use dragging things out if he is..... Best of luck to you and I do promise you that it will get better. Time does heal all..... And this to shall pass.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2011
yes it does get better....you are doing the right thing moving forward...it is a grieving process and you have to go thru it....allow yourself to do so... But do not get stuck in it..Live your life, try to be happy, enjoy your friends and family. You are obviously still very young. Don't waste your time with someone that doesn't love and appreciate you. Your children deserve to grow up in a loving family even if it is a single parent home or with a step parent. Take care of yourself...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
I agree. Rarely do men walk out on their families UNLESS they already have another woman waiting for them in the wings. In fact I would be surprised if he didn't.
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Mitzy,

Has your husband's depression been formally diagnosed by a doctor? If so, is he taking medication? Is he seeing a counselor?

If he's undiagnosed and just trying to "do it himself" he's causing more problems for himself (and your marriage) than its worth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011

Hi there.........i know all to well how you feel. My husband and I seperated 4 months ago and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I cried so many days/nights and still do. However it does get better day by day. Remember you are a wonderful woman and you deserve happiness. Take it one day at a time. Give him the space he needs but at the same time don't sit around and belive on false hope. I have been there too. My husband has also told me to move on but like u, i also love my husband and don't want to give up. I take each day one by one and try not to dwell on the negative things. Take this time to concentrate on yourself and your children. I know it doesn't seem like it now but things will get better. God bless you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I know you seem to think this but it is not always true that men only want to get divorced when there is another woman involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

This sounds like a very difficult situation for you, but I think it would be worse for you to be sitting around wondering if he's going to come back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
I do believe that 9 times out of 10 when a man wants out of his family it IS because there is another woman involved. I guess it's because it's what I've seen. Almost every time a friends H wanted out, she later found out that there was another woman at the time he wanted out.