My husband left on our anniversary
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| Mon, 06-23-2008 - 5:41pm |
Last Thursday would have been my anniversary. My husband decided that would be a great day to leave...again. History, we have been together for 14 years, off and on and have one child. We were both very young when our baby was born 21. He worked 2 jobs, I stayed home. When baby was 1 1/2 yrs old he decided that I wasn't a good enough housekeeper. We lived with my mom and paid no rent. Her house was not very neat, but I kept our room and the baby's room nice. He leaves. Says I don't know how to take care of my man. I start going out with my friends, meet a guy, come home from a date and there's hubby waiting. About 6 weeks after he left, and he had already signed a lease for 1 yr. for a 1 bedroom apt., 45 min away. We talk, I tell him about going out with this guy, he then confesses to having a 1 night stand. We decide to try to work things out. The next day the date guy calls and says he had such a great time. He never felt so comfortable with someone, he feels like it's love at first sight. I don't move in with hubby (BTW we were not married yet, if it matters), but continue to see both of them without each knowing, for a few months, break up with one, go back to the other. I know that I was wrong for this, but rationalized that I didn't need to explain myself to anyone. Hubby finds out freaks out, I stop seeing #2 and we get back together, and decide to get married a few years later. 6 yrs into marriage he decides that he never trusted me after that whole situation and leaves again. We live apart, I let him know that things were different this time, I was going to wait until we divorced to see anyone. We still sleep together, but that's the extent of our relationship. During this time, my mom has a relapse of her cancer, I am her primary caretaker, as well as single parent because hubby moved 500 miles away this time. I am working full time, paying all of the bills for my house on my own, and struggling. I have a few drinks one night, ( yes I know better, this is no excuse, etc.)and kiss one of my guy friends. I don't tell hubby because this is 3 years after he moved out. He comes back about 2 months before my mom passes away, and spends a few weeks with me, and gradually stayed for the funeral, etc. He looks through my telephone bill, finds that I have been talking to the guy friend too much and asks why. I tell him we are just friends, although we did have this one incident. He becomes extremely angry, physically threatening me. It brings up everything from the past. Just when we were starting to get back on track. During this heated argument I got really scared because he has been physically threatening in the past. In order to stop him I told him that I slept with the guy friend. I was just trying to put an end to this scary argument, I realize it is a very immature thing to do, to get him to be so mad that he would leave. I don't even know why I said it. It's not true. So he decides that I should quit my job because of this, that's how I knew the guy friend. So I do, I would give up any job to show him that he means more. It doesn't work. I tell him that I really never slept with the guy friend, but because of the past history, he doesn't believe me. And 4 days ago, on our wedding anniversary, he leaves. After 8 months of trying to do the right thing. I have apologized, I truly am sorry. Now I just feel empty. He hasn't called since he left, only called our child on his cell phone. I just feel like enough is enough, and that he has been trying to leave for half of our relationship, but it doesn't make it any easier. I think that it might finally be over, but it still really hurts. I am just looking for someone else's take on the whole situation. Any thoughts?
Edited 6/23/2008 7:23 pm ET by melijasmine
Edited 6/23/2008 8:52 pm ET by melijasmine
