My husband may go on spending spree befo
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My husband may go on spending spree befo
| Sun, 03-18-2007 - 11:49am |
My husband wants out (after 15 years) and I am not sure what I should do about the money. He has not left yet but that is in the works (we take turns in the guest room). I am afraid to say something to him about the finances because he may blow but I also need to protect our three kids. I have copied all important documents so I know our current situation but I am afraid he may go buy a new sports car or something like that? We both work but I am really the bread winner. Any advise. I am so sad and miserable so I am trying to atleast be smart about him leaving me. Should I put some money away? I do not want to be unfair, but he is the one who wants to "trade me in" for a younger women.
40 and alone-I can not believe!
Kris

Hey There! Just wanted to quickly respond to your post. You absolutely should be preparing yourself -- put money away, get copies of all important papers, bank statements, etc. I would consult with an attorney and get advice on what you need to do to protect your and your children's interests and to be informed of all your 'rights.' There is too much at stake here. There's no telling what your husband will do (in his unreasonable psychological state) to upset the family stability. You need to separate the 'business' part of this (ie. legal, financial) from the emotional part. It is definitely a very emotional process and takes a lot out of you on top of what you already are dealing with -- kids, job, etc. It never hurts to be 'prepared,' even if you guys decide not to actually get divorced.
On the other hand, have you tried couples' therapy/marriage counseling? It's good to get everything out on the table and to both understand where the other is coming from. In the case of myself & stbx, it helped us to come to the realization that divorce is the best path for us. (we don't agree 100% on this, but each person is going to be at a different point, emotionally, in this process, at any given time). In any case, since you need to maintain a relationship going forward, getting some therapy will make your husband understand that he is not off the hook when it comes to being a father and the responsibility he has towards the kids and the mother who is taking care of them.
Best of luck with everything! This board is great at giving support -- whatever you decide to do!
PROTECT YOURSELF!