My initial post came off a bit harsh....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
My initial post came off a bit harsh....
3
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 10:49am

that was not my intention.

Okay ladies. From the responses to my initial post it seems as though the way I worded my post was a bit more alarming sounding than what I meant it to be so let me clarify.

First: Im positive that the " I sleep with daddy" statement was innocent. I didnt suspect that dad was doing something creepy with our son.

Second: My statement about im getting alarmed I meant as to the thought of the three of them sleeping in the bed together. Im still on an emotional journey in dealing with all this and the thought of the three of them lying in bed together is just too much to handle "right now". Im kinda seeing someone now and I wouldnt dare think of allowing the three of us to sleep in the bed together. To me that's just inappropiate!

Third: the arguing. Yes Firstamendment, ex and I have argued in front of our son and that was a huge mistake on both our parts. It has been corrected and the last thing I want is it to end with me and him only to begin with him and her. Whoever it is it's wrong to do in front of the child. Is it avoidable no, but it can be limited as much as possible. Remember yesterday was a BIG deal for me, I was very accomodating to a man who has been a total nasty jerk. He even asked for more time on his return which was to be at 6 but instead it was after 8pm, I obliged, with not one complaint. Would he do the same for me, I doubt it seriously. But thats not the important things here.

Im just trying to process this all and didnt mean to sound as alarmed as I did. It's new emotions without notice and Im just trying to find the most healthiest, effective, non-combative way to deal with them. I have to admit sometimes it does still hurt. Because him, me and the baby will never get to do those things as a family that they are apparently doing. When I had my son, I just dreamed of it being a totally different picture from what it is now.

Again sorry if my first post came off as me being a crazy lunatic. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 11:50am

You are doing a gret job of processing all of these new emotions and experiences.

That is why we are here, to bounce ideas off of and to tell you when you are gettin' nutty. Just kidding, keep up the good work.

You will learn to let 99% of this stuff to roll off your back and deal with only things that really need to be dealt with. The kids come home telling us all sorts of stuff about what goes on at mom's and I am sure they tell her stuff too. We have gotten calls wanting an explanation on stuff and 9 times out of 10 the kids version is not even close to what happened. They are kids and they tell things the way they see them or hear them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 12:18pm
lol, it goes both ways too. So I can just imagine what ex will come to me with that our son will tell him. Or worse he wont say anything and try to use it against me. I can vent here, get different perspectives and calm down, not try to damage him in court. Think logically. Ex on the other hand will hear something and may try to use it to hurt me in court, wont come to me to discuss it. We'll see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 2:44pm

Hopefully the "court" thing will be wrapped up in a relatively short amount of time and won't be so easily looming to use as a cop-out for every single little gripe that he has.


Keep


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~