My introduction
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| Sun, 11-13-2005 - 4:07pm |
Hi all.
I've been lurking here for a couple of weeks and since I've now responded to a post, I felt I should introduce myself.
I have been married for 15 years. My husband (33) and I (36) have recently separated (maritally) though we've lived apart for almost 3 of the last five years due to his military service. We have 3 children: dd1 will be 15 next month, dd2 is 7.5 and ds will be 5 in January. I am a graduate student seeking a PhD in Human Development (my area of specialty is early childhood development, however.)
My heart is heavy about the decision to separate and the likelihood of divorce, though my head knows its the right decision. In our marriage we've dealt with infidelity (on his part), geographic separations, another marital separation (while he lived on post and I lived 'in town') and depression, on top of the host of typical marital issues.
We are actually good friends and the decision to separate now is an attempt to remain friends instead of waiting until another crisis arises (as is likely to happen as he deals with the aftermath of the war and another separation to attend military schools to become an officer) which would lead to a separation due to pain, hurt, and anger. His previous infidelity occurred while he was at a military school and under extreme stress and battling emotional 'demons'.
Anyway. . .I guess that's the best I can do to introduce myself to you all. My best wishes to you all.

Hello and welcome! I know it's not fun to find yourself here, but the ladies and the CL are very supportive and give wonderful advice, encouragement, and a little handholding from time to time.
Even the friendliest of divorces is emotionally draining. You'll find yourself experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions...it's OK. We all go through it. You said you know in your heart this is the right choice....but I know that sometimes, it still hurts.
Hang in there and post often.
Thanks. . .actually it's my head that thinks this is the best decision. My heart doesn't agree . . .and last night about midnight my heart took over. I cried, wrote a bit in my journal, took 2 OTC sleep aids and got some sleep. My heart's still in control today, but I'm so busy during the week that I can't dwell too much during the day. I have an appointment with my therapist this afternoon (coincedentally) so that should help (I hope).
It's great to be in therapy. It's helped me immensely. Even when you KNOW in your head it's the right thing, I don't think it makes it any less sad or difficult.
I know what you mean about being OK during the week when you're so busy. When I have free time on my hands, I tend to dwell and get upset also.
Hope your session went well.