my poor kids
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my poor kids
| Wed, 11-29-2006 - 8:07pm |
I am alway so angry. I know I could probably use counseling, but I work and have 3 kids and who has the time. My charming husband (we are separated) is emotionally and verbally abusive. I can't even call to let him know what is going on with the kids without being told what an a-hole I am. Because, of course it's MY fault he doesn't know what is going on with the kids, right? After all, he only went to work one day and never came home........I don't realize how much it gets to me until I lose it with the kids. They don't deserve a mother who has no patience. Then I feel guilty for hours and try to make it up to them. Someone plesae tell me how to let go of all the anger so I can move on and be a better mother.

If only I knew!!! but I guess that some passion and anger is normal - we are also made of our feelings and they cannot be denied completely.
I also find that when tired and stressed I have a very short fuse. My DD is a very sweet child - yet I can be picky and demanding, especially when I have been running all day, then I arrive home to find a mess - and there, I explode.
I think there is a mixture of feelings in there, surely stress and tiredness, but also in part a will to be in control of my life and surrounding (probably generated by a lack of control in other areas...), loneliness compounded by tiredness - so I don't go out, lack of sleep from worries at night...