My recent STBX annoyances...
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 03-11-2005 - 11:09am |
Ugh, he's such a pain in the butt. The other day I could not sleep. I've been having stress at my job. A job I love, but will leave in a heartbeat if the current problem continues and the right offer comes along. Anyway, I was up thinking and came downstairs to find stbx in the kitchen, wanting to talk. It was nearly midnight (I get up for work at 4:50am), but I decided to sit and hear what he had to say. He wanted to tell me he's doing some "long-term planning" and his goal date to move out is 6/1. That is not as soon as I'd really like, but realisitically that's fine. Then he said I shouldn't be surprised if I see him around more because he's seriously considering dropping out of school. OMG! He only has a month left! I've put him through school twice now, once for his engineering degree that he doesn't use and now for his automotive tech certificate. Now he doesn't want to finish. I felt that it may be a bluff, so I just acting kinda nonchalant about it telling him it doesn't matter to me, it's up to him, but if he quits school he MUST work on finding a job. I went to bed and tossed and turned until it was time to go to work...
On to the evening. On Wednesday evenings I watch one of the kids from my afterschool program. Her mom and dad are considering divorcing as well, so I asked the mom to come over for dinner when she was done with work. I pull into our driveway and there's stbx's car, so I guess he did quit school. UGH, that means he'll be home more - it finally hit me! I walk in and say something about him making his decision and he says he did, he's done w/ school. Then DD starts in on him about eating all the snacks I bought for DS. DS has a life threatening peanut allergy and it's very very hard to find granola bars that he can eat. I finally found a kind that he likes and stbx ate the ENTIRE box and Ds only got one. I wasn't going to say a word, but DD thought she could talk some sense into the man (LOL!). He got defensive saying that he didn't realize I bought them for Abe only (I told him they were for him!) and that the box didnt' have that many in them. I couldn't help myself, I jumped in and told him that it was very mean of him to eat DS's snacks when it's so hard to find things he likes. Stbx got angry and got his zombie look on his face and paced around. This was all in front of the little girl I watch and I was expecting her mom to come over soon! I told him he needed to stop acting creepy, so he went upstairs. That bugged me because that's kinda been my refuge up there lately. I went to him and told him if he acts in ways that make me nervous I'll be calling my attorney. He then jumped up and said he was leaving. He didn't pack a bag so I knew he'd be back. I had a lovely dinner with the kids and my new friend, but then stbx came home and acting like nothing ever happened. Today he's in a lovely mood. UGH! I would just love to come home and know that he's gone. Touching his bath towels is making my skin crawl and I hate that he's laying on the couch all night. I'm feeling so territorial, which is not like me at all. All I can say now is June first is not so far away.
Melanie

I think I would've said..... "Oh my, how will quitting school impact YOUR future?... you're so close to finishing."
If he's wasting what HE's invested so far... in time... and it will cost HIM money down the road if he needs more education..... then HIS choices are impacting HIS future.... you've got your OWN future on your plate.
He sounds very much like the type that learns life's lessons the hard way.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I think that some people do this to get attention. He WANTS you to say NO DONT QUIT SCHOOL! ugh.
WHO would rationalize that as being positive? 1 month left.... ugh!
Well.... your right, june isn't that far away. Just remember to BREATHE and count to 10...lol
Hugs,
Angelena
Wow, Melanie. I feel for you. You're right, June will be there faster than you think. This is going to sound wierd (sorry), but I admire your anger. I'm in counseling and we talked about that today. She said since I don't like feeling anger - especially towards loved ones and x is still grouped there - that I turn it inwards and it turns into depression. It made since to me. I've always been like that. I make everything into my fault. I am starting to be angry with him in small doses.
I had a friend who used to always tell me Brave Heart. So, Brave Heart to you!
Ruth
IMHO I think you should tell him since he has decided on June first ,that he had better stick to cuz June 2 his stuff will be on the sidewalk and the locks will be changed.
Thats just my opinion though.I think if you keep letting him pick when he will move out though, you probably won't ever get rid of him. He will keep finding excuses to put it off longer and longer.
You are understandably being angry about YOUR space. Stick to your guns and only give him the hard encouragement of moving on and out.
Best of luck to you.
K:-}
I wish I could do that, but in Illinois I can't legally kick him out until the divorce is final. My lawyer said it would be late June at the earliest. :^(.
Melanie
Well I know how agonizing it is to live with your STBX. I am still living with mine. The house closes April 13th then we will move out. I thing that helped us was, when he served me with divorce papers, we separated our money, including our food. Now he has his food, and ds and I have our food. Any food that was there before then is community food and up for grabs. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Amber