My son doesn't want to go!
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| Mon, 07-10-2006 - 1:04pm |
My xh and I have been divorced for 5 years now, and have 2 sons a 12 yr old that lives with me and a 9 yr old that lives with him. We exchange the kids for half the summer each and when Winter break allows we alternate years for the holiday. This year my son is startign to get to where he does not want to go see his dad. He is resigned to it for this year, but is going with much resentment and aprehention. I know when I was younger and had to go see my dad, it stopped around the time I was 13 because I chose not to go anymore, and that was apparently okay with the custody rules, or what not. I don't know what we need to do now. I'm in VA, and the xh is in OH. As my son gets older I am really anticipating problems with getting him to go, since he already doesn't want to go this year. Someone told me recently that 12 was the magic number for a child being able to decide whether or not he wants to go for these summer visits. As it stand right now my xh is expecting that my son will HAVE to see him until he's 18, and honestly I think it's unreasonable to expect that a teenager that has friends, summer jobs, drives, etc (as he gets older) is going to want to see his dad every year. He even went as far as to tell me he was taking me to court for custody of my son and to get me for child abandonment for my other son--the one he has custody of! I talk to him at MINIMUM of twice a week, send him packages several times a year, etc. Where is the abandonment there?! My 12 yr old is a Star Boy Scout, an almost straight A student, is involved in academic clubs, NEVER have a problem with him, etc--yeah right good luck tryign to take custody from me! The bottom line is that I don't think it's fair to FORCE my son to go to his dads every year and have him sit there, listen to his dad's GF scream and yell at her kids all day, his dad belittles him, and last summer called him a self centered ass to his face, because he didn't want the little kids to play with his stuff. He cried this year when we were setting up the visit, because of his memories from last year. Is there still a "Magid Number"???
Brandi

I don't know if there is a magic age but I sure hope so for your son's sake. How awful for him! I wouldn't want to go with someone who verbally abused me. The good thing is he's old enough to tell you what is going on in their house and if need be can tell a judge that. My ex lives close so when the boy's are with him and they want to come they can. I would never make them stay with him if they didn't want too. Mine are all 13 and older but I don't think that would make a big difference in the law. I hope you get it worked out, your poor son shouldn't have to go through this!
Rhonda