my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
my story
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 4:13pm

Well my story is probally similar to all the others.
Let me first start by saying that me and my H have been married for almost 3 years.
We have a 2 year old and a 3 month old.
things started getting rocky about a year and a half ago and we seperated and we were "almost" going to get a divorce, we both went our seperate ways and then 5 months later we decided to get back together and everything was grand, we even planned for our youngest child.
Ever since the birth of our son however things have not been going so great.
he works about 60+ hrs a week and I stay at home with the kids.
I feel depressed staying at home and I think it has led to alot of my unhappiness.
He also loves to stay out with his friends and leaves me home with the kids, almost as if he was still iving the "single" life.
It has almost pretty much always been this way his friends were top priority even when we were dating.
I cant get him to help me with nothing around the house, his excuse is that he works and provides so that in itself entitles him to do nothing.
Last friday we talked about things and he said he was going to make an effort to change. a few hours later his buddy called and he was gone again.
Sunday we had another huge argument and this time it was over our next door neighbor which is a 17 yr old female which is my friend.
I only told him (and I was not accusing) that I felt uncomfortable with her coming over after I have gone to bed. he blows it way out of perspective and takes off.
my MIL came over 2 nights ago and I confided in her. which I shouldn't have done (I know stupid me) and I told her the reason why I felt distant was because of what my SIL had told me what she said about me. she was the one that said that she felt as if she was going to our funeral the day that we got married
well then MIL tells my husband, my husband tells my SIL out of anger which is mad and apparntly is trying to get "back" at me. so now the whole family has shunned me
She has him convinced I am cheating on him with an ex boyfriend. because I changed my password to my email I am now labeled "cheating" my ex who is by the way my best friends step brother, we do still have contact from time to time but thats as far as it goes. I did write him an email and we did talk on the phone for very briefly but it wasn't what my H thought it was, which I guess does not look too good.
My H threatned to take the kids away from me out of anger. I tried to talk him through all of it and I think I finally got him to realize that our boy's are not "weapons"

He came over today to bring me $100 and say that he will pay the bills through next month until I can find somewhere to live, because He is moving but he slipped up and called me 'baby' maybe I am still reading too much into this situation.
I thought I wanted us to be seperated and get a divorce but now I am doubting myself.
I sent him an email today on some articles I found about children and the ways that they cope with divorce, and then I asked him if there was any way we could try to work things through.
I dont know, I know that I have mentioned counseling in the past and he refused. So I dont know what to do.
any advice would be appreciated! thanks so much you all seem to be so helpful, and insightful