My story just keeps getting better....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
My story just keeps getting better....
4
Sat, 03-04-2006 - 12:56pm

And I AM being sarcastic....

Quick background of me and the STBX, he has been lying to me and the OW for the 7 months he's been having an affair. Recently as Feb. 11th he and I went out to eat (and we slept together that day, this was just before I found out about the affair and thought we were still possibly going to work things out). After the 13th and everything came out, the OW was grilling me about where we ate that night b/c she found the receipt. STBX denies to her that we were together, that he was with one of his guy friends. She asked me what we ate and I rattled it off to her, exactly, I even knew and told her exactly what time it was b/c I had looked at the clock at somehow remembered. That was on the receipt too.

A friend of ours I will call John (he was a groomsman in our wedding) and told me on Saturday that my STBX's GF had called him. I said, "What on earth is she calling YOU for". John laughed and began telling me that my STBX had called him to lie for him about being with him that night! And he did it!!! I'm not surprised, they are friends and probably none of my STBX's other friends would do it.

Last night I saw another mutual friend of mine and the STBX. He told me that John had told him the whole story of my STBX calling John and giving him all the info on the food receipt. I guess the GF even asked John for the credit card number!!!! When he told me I couldn't figure out if I was mad or in disbelief at the lengths my STBX will go to to cover his a**. AND John and the other mutual friend think it is HALARIOUS! Unbelievable. I guess my STBX should have mentioned to John not to tell ME or anyone else. Too late.

So, anyway, I know I shouldn't, but I am SO tempted to email or call the OW and drop her a line about that. I know if I do, my STBX will call John and have him cover it up again, blah, blah, blah.....I love watching it all fall apart for him. I guess he doesn't need my help, does she???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 6:34am

and what would this accomplish?


listen up sweetie: your life is YOUR life, andthe focus should be on YOU from this point on, not on your loser husband or his loser gf. if i were you - i wouldn't even talk to this woman - to *ME* : she wouldn't even EXIST in *my* world. this isn't about HER at all - its about you and your husband.


I know thatthere is an underlying natural curiousity and , let's face it, an element of *itchiness in you, that you want to somehow 'get back' at him. but - it depends what you want in life and where you see yourself going. if you want to spend your life dwelling on HIM, focusing on HIM - then go for it. but, if you want to turn YOUR life around and make a NEW life for YOU, start fixing your life and focusing onYOU from now on - then you need to stop putting your efforts and energies into HIM and start putting those efforts and energies into YOU.


i know its hard - but its not impossible and it will help you to heal.


hugs....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:47am

As much as I would also LOVE to contact the OW....I would just leave the situation alone. It sounds like you STBX is digging his own grave fast enough! You're right, he doesn't need your help messing up his life, he's doing a fine job of it on his own.

Considering how new this is and how difficult the situation is, I think you're handling things extremely well. Just keeo doing what you're doing. Hold your head high and ignore his antics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 2:09pm
Your post helped me to put a new perspective on my own situation. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 8:51pm
I would love to e-mail the long list of women that my husband has been conversing with since he left me. When i first found out about him going onto dating sites, I actually sent e-mails to those women. A few have stayed in contact with me, they don't want anything to do with him. The only reason that I won't contact any of these women on the phone or through e-mails is becaus I don;t want to do anything that will hurt my divorce case. Maybe after we're divorced I can have a little fun! Anger and bitterness really can do a lot of damage. Hopefully by the time the divorce is final I won't even be interested in making his life a little messier than it is now. hopefully
good luck to you