My Weddng Annivesary is tommorrow. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
My Weddng Annivesary is tommorrow. HELP
2
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:01am

Hello Ladies ,I coulld really uses some support/advice.

I have been seperated since August 1st. (2 kids 8 & 6).

A quick history: Husband is an overachiever/workaholic who made a very successful business while ignoring us at home. "It's all for us"..."Fine, you want me to throw in the towel...I'll go get a $10/ hour job!"...Lots of scare tactics were thrown at me when I'd ask for more co-parenting or attention from him. Anyhow,I just withdrew: filled ,my life with friends, kids, food :)... He found a woman he choose to have an affair with (on & off for 1 year). I found out, we went to therapy for a year, I thought we were both honestly working toward healing & rebuilding, but no, he was lying all along & never ended it. So here we are. seperated. He says it's over, he does'nt want her, doesn't want a divorce...bl;ah balh blah...I really in truly don't know what I want. I am miserable when he has the children at his place. In 8 years, he has never been with them for any real length of time. I have happily had that role. Now, it's so hard to "give them over to him". Our relationship is not bad now, no yelling..basically lots of sadness & crying on my part. I feel like I'm in a fog.

Our Annivesary it tommorrow, and I'm wondering is we shold go have coffee/lunch or what. Do I get a card, a gift? Am I screwed up or what? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? I feel so alone and confused. It really sucks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:45am

Paddy,


I'd let him make the first move to acknowledge the anniversary date, if he does. Meanwhile, make other plans for your time, i.e. go out to lunch with a friend, see a movie, take your kids to the library, etc. Something to do

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 8:14pm
Thanks so much for replying. I am really in a fog! Your perspective is logical & clear.