Need adv on how to deal with anniversary

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
Need adv on how to deal with anniversary
5
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 7:46pm

Hi Ladies, I am going through a tough time this evening. I was married last May 6, 2005, tomorrow will be our first anniversary. Obviously since I am posting here, we are divorcing.....I am bummed. He had another woman all along an on again/off again girlfriend. I just gave birth to our son. I got pregnant right after we were married. We have not been together (living in same house) since July 12, 2005. Basically, I spent the entire pregnancy on my own. How does it get better...? I am going to stay busy tomorrow, to not have the day on my mind. We didn't have a wedding, just were married in quicky ceremony at justice of peace. I am SO glad that I didn't spend a boat load of $$ on a wedding to only have my dh (darn hubby) run off with his little gf.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 2:42am

I am lucky, my anniversary is the 4th of July so it is very easy to keep myself occupied. Last year was my 1st year on my own for our anniversary. I had the kids, so went to cook out and fireworks. I just tried to keep busy. I left him because I found out he had a gf. 2nd one in 10 years. Couldn't stay knowing that about every 5 years he was going to cheat. Just know that you are not alone. I am trying to start a new "tradition" for our anniversary. Make it MY day, instead of our day. I have been married twice. The first time I got married was 9/9. I always go out and have a couple drinks with friends on that day to celebrate being rid of my first husband. Anyway, I would suggest that you try to keep yourself busy, and try to make it YOUR day, kind of like a 2nd birthday. Good luck.

Hugs.

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 7:37am

Well, if I were you, I would do something special for yourself... it is likely to be an emotional day, so be good to you... get a foot massage... or your hair done... Surround yourself with your family and friends for support and make it through the day one thing at a time...

My then stbx spent our first separated anniversary at Disney... woo hoo for him... except he threw his back out that day and was flat on his back for the rest of his vacation with her family in California... for me, it was just another little bit of Karma kicking him...

Good Luck and let us know how it goes...

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 7:49am

The key is to have yourself busy the entire day. You may also want to be with friends/family to "help" keep your mind off of things. All day on my 2nd anniversary I kept thinking to myself... well around this time I was getting my hair done, around this time I was getting my nails done, etc. It was like I was reliving the day all over again in my head. I left work early that day and my neighbors had me over for dinner. While I was depressed about it all, they certainly helped out so much. I would have been lost without them.

I'm sending good thoughts your way. ((((HUGS))))))

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 10:29am

I agree.

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 10:57am

How are you doing today? You have been through a whole lot this year!


I think everyone's suggestion of doing something nice for youself is a wonderful idea. Even if it's something as simple and inexpensive as packing a picnic lunch for yourself and bringing your son to the park.


I hope your day is going smoothy...feel free to post if you need more support.




How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank