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| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 8:57pm |
Wow, what a change in STBX. He had a meeting today with his attorney. Short backround on us, married almost 8 years he cheated 3 times, never was involved in the kids lives but now he wants 50/50 custody. Well he stopped over to put a new pin in the snowblower and then came in and we started talking. He has informed me that he is going for 50% of everything. He said that the GAL we have appointed won't matter because of the state laws and rulings saying he has a right to have our children 50% of the time. Has anyone ever worked with a GAL? What will happen. He brought up the fact that he found out I am on pills for depression, started them a month ago when he said he wanted them 50% of the time, will that have a negative affect on my chances of him not having 50% custody.
I am crying as I write this, I just don't know what to do or what to expect.
Angie

First things first ... do you have a lawyer? Get one!!!!
I don't know what state you are in and, in fact, it really depends on the the judges in your local jurisdiction, but at a class on divorce I went to the lawyer said "it does not matter if you are on anti-depressants and seeing a shrink. Judges know divorce is awful and, frankly, they would be surprised if you weren't on meds, so don't plan on using that against your spouse or it having any impact on you, if you are."
Now that is one lawyers opinion in my jurisdiction, but it makes sense.
Don't let your stbx threaten you.
As for what role the GAL would play; I guess that depends on the GAL.
I can say, having your own lawyer tell you where you stand is going to be the best gift you can give yourself.
I suspect your stbx only wants 50/50 to reduce his cs and possibly just to get to you. I doubt he has the kids' best interests at heart. He is gonna have to justify his request in those terms -- why is it better for the children to be moved back and forth like sideways yoyos!!!
GL!
M
A lot has to do with what the status quo is in your house. If you were the primary caregiver, they usually don't want to change that drastically.
My STBX also spouted 50/50 custody at the beginning, until I reminded him that he would have to find dc for the weeks he had the kids (I work during school hours), and that his work hours (rarely home before 8pm) would mean a nanny or au-pair since no dc around here is open that late. He backed down when he realized that having me have the kids during the week would be a lot better than hiring someone.
50% of the assets and debts is pretty common, but custody varies a lot. Do you have an attorney? Keep a log of when your STBX sees the kids now. It might be helpful.
M.
Hi Angie.... well, he could get 50/50 custody... or more than every other weekend... but judges do weight each situation, how it will work, and stability for the kids, too... and your getting medication for recognizing that you were slipping into a slump and needed help will HELP you more than it will hurt you.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~