Need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
Need advice
1
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 3:53pm

A little background. Been married 11 years. Have 2 kids 6 and almost 3. My husband is not abusive and is a good provider. He still loves me and wants us to be together. I changed who I was early on to placate him. I stopped arguing with him because it led to 2 days of the silent treatment. Now, we don't communicate at all. And I'm real angry. Mostly at myself, but there are so many things that he does that eat away at me. I won't go into all the details. All I know is that I want a divorce but can't seem to do it. I worry about hurting him, hurting his parents (who are wonderful), and hurting our kids. I'm seeing a therapist and it's been great. She tells me I'm just not ready to do it yet. Here's my problem (well, one of them), He constantly asks me if I'm sure I love him. Every day he tells me he loves me and when I see "love you too" he says "are you sure." I do love him and always will. But, I feel that I'm being deceitful because I don't love him as a wife should love her husband. It's been 2 years since we've had sex because I don't want it. Yet he stays. He obviously knows I'm not happy, but I can't grow the backbone to tell him. Anyone been here?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: lounlisa
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:20pm

Yep!


I know it's not an immediate fix.... but I'm glad that you're in counseling.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~