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| Tue, 12-20-2005 - 12:26am |
Ok, I have been married over ten years. The divorce is inevitable again. He is living out of the home again but comes over almost every day to help with the kids. I don't think being married suits us well. We are very very good friends, he even told me I am his best friend. His heart is just not in it anymore. I think he has some issues he needs to work out but I cant control that. I have a weakness for him and I do still love him very much. Everyone that knows us always makes comments about what a good couple we are. When we are together everything feels right. We do not fight but he has made up his mind he just does not want to be married it makes him unhappy. I do understand that. He has made some mistakes that he is not willing to correct. I must really love the hell out of him because I keep forgiving him. I would like to add I am not a doormat. I would never tolerate this from another person. EVER.. Only him.. That is my issue to work on. But easier said than done eh?
OK now for the problem. He is in the military and is leaving for a year. So the Army will pay for a move. I have the option to move to be closer to family. They will not help me much but they will be able to see the kids etc. etc. I have a job out here that I really love. They have been amazing to me and the thought of leaving makes me very sad. I know if I stay out here I will keep backsliding into STBX arms. We are stuck in a pattern. I feel like if I move away then I will get the clean break. I get over him and then he wants to come back and I let him because he is my husband and I love him. If I move I am worried he will stay in the Army and the kids wont have a father. He is not sure if he wants to get out now, but once paperwork is filed then he will have a huge amount of child support so one more reason not to get out. I guess this is a damned if I do damned if I don't situation. I have spent the last ten years doing what was asked of me what I needed to do to be a good military wife, never complained. Cried myself to sleep because he was deployed again. Took care of everything so that does not scare me. Part of me wants him to make a sacrifice. But I think he is just too damned selfish to do it.
I am a fire believer in not running home to family because you will have the same problems there that you have where you are. But I think it is the only way to get out of this situation. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Hi.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~