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| Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:01pm |
I saw my therapist today & we focused on my stbx relationship with our kids & how I'm still trying to manipulate the relationship (ie. make him act like a 'real' dad)
He said to me that I just have to 'not care' about how he is getting along with the kids..it is their relationship & if he 'blows it' then it is his loss.
He also stressed that I need to 'get along' with my stbx for the children's sake.
How do I do that? I'm still so angry (something else I need to get over), about the betrayal ..basically about the whole situation & the "unknown"..how do you get past the anger??? how do you, as my therapist says, treat our relationship like a business??
As far as 'moving on' I haven't really...I am working so much & trying to keep up with my 3 young kids that I don't have enough hours in the day...taking classes is hard because I work rotating shifts..I am still relying on my family to babysit & it has been 11 mos..
I know I need to do something ..but I'm having a hard time coming up with what to do...
Any advice or personal experience would be greatly appreciated..I need guidance on this one.
Thanks
Annette

just another note to this...by mistake his doctor office called me to confirm appt with him..his doctor was urologist...he is trying to reverse vasectomey.
When I heard I was devastated..when he had it 6-1/2 yrs ago..it was because he absolutely wanted no more children...now that he has 25 yr old gf the story changes..
he can't take responsibility for the 3 that he has & he wants more?!
how does he think it is going to be different this time??
he just makes me sick!
OMG, HUGE (((hugs)))! That must have been SUCH a blow.
I wish i could give you some advice. I am in the same boat
Thank you
I have been following your trials with the ex and I don't even pretend to have the problems you have..but thank you for your support and understanding...
I guess we both have to 'suck it up' and try to make nice for our kids..there is instability on his part where you are concerned so it ain't that easy.
He wants me to be 'nice' to him..he doesnt understand why I am so upset..
looking back he wasn't the "sharpest knife in the drawer"..lol
Ok, now while writing this he calls...I have specifically asked him to call at night between 8 & 8:30pm...I wouldn't have picked up the phone but one of the kids got it.
Darn..he just likes to push it...so I'm not in control...ooooo that makes me mad!