need advice and an ear to bend
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| Fri, 04-01-2005 - 12:24pm |
I have been reading for a while but this is my frist time posting.
My H and I have been seperated fro a while, I kicked him out. This is not he first time we have been seperated but this is the end of the road for me. I have been through it all with him, cheating lying, and abuse.
Here is my now issue... I felt sorry for him because he had no where to stay so I paid fro a room in the town I live in so he could try to get his life back on track and be a little closer to see our daughter. He had been living in a city about an hour away with some relative, but things were getting iffy because he was not working and it was getting to them. HMMMM why is it that when he was living with me and not woprking I was the bad guy? ( I am regressing, can you feel my anger) Anyway I have been paying him to come and do things around my house, things he didn't do when he lived here but they needed to be done and suprise surprise he doesn't have a job yet after 2 weeks of being back in town.
I went out to eat with my daif=ghter yesterday and more than a few people in the rest came up tp me telling me things about him. One that e spends all of his time in there so obviouisly he isn't looking for a job, 2 that he is telling everyone that I call him and invite him over all of the time and that we are getting back together!! 3 He won 200 from the pocker machine the night before and that was the night he came crying to me that he had no money for food or cig. and I like an idiot gave him money. 4 He is acting like Mr. cool teenager, bragging about living in a ROOM and braging that I paid for it and that I paid his truck payment. ( the truck is in my name only and I had to put my truck up as collateral for it otherwise I would have said screw my credit come get it , but GMAC told me they would take my suv not his because his is 5 years older and I the agreemant was that mine was the one with the lein on it) 5. He had threatened to have the electric and phone shut off as they were the only things in his name, so I had the phone disconected and turned on in my name and didn't give him the #, I don't want him or his " mommy" callng me all the time. Well when I was at work he "broke in" through the back door and called one of his friends from here and *82 so he would have the #. He took a shower, ate my food and logged onto my computer while he was here also. 5 When I kicked him out and I looked in the truck the stereo was gone, I stright out asked him what happened to it and he said it burned out because of the amp, I aske if the 15 disk changer was still int he car and he said it was, come to find out he sold bothof them the day I kicked him out for 30 bucks, the system was woth 1400!
OK so as I am trying to eat and being bombarded by poeple telling me all of this, in walks SH, what are you doing here he asks. Ok I am unwiulling to make a scene so I tell him I will meat him at the gas station as my furnace went out and I was out of oil and needed Kerosene to get us through the night. I stop to buy an approved can so by the time I get to the station he is fuming, so I confront him with his lies( not all of them that would have taken a year) He continues to lie!!! about everything! He had the can and he left, not that I would have known where to put the fuel in the furnace anyway, all I know abou the basement is how to open the door. So her eit is 1:15 in the afternoon and ?I am at work, We still ahve no heat or hot water int he house and since I can't be there I cant have oil delivered and even if I could you have to be home to let them in to restart the furnace. This means we will be without oil till Monday! And he doesn't give a crap!
Sorry fro the rant, Does anyone else have an ass fro an ex?

I can't give you much advice on getting oil for the weekend, although depending on where you live at least it's been warmer lately.
I found out through someone else that at one point my ex was telling his co-workers nasty lies about me. It is a long story how this got back to me, but the short version is I was talking to someone I met through an online ad and it turns out his best friend worked with my ex-h. Apparently my ex-h was telling people that I used to have threesomes and he caught me several times and that finally he got fed up and kicked me out, and that he used to go to gay bars with me all the time after that. I freaked out when I heard this, and I assumed if it could get back to me it could get back to my friends and people at my dd's school. I got advice from my best friend and my therapist and we all agreed I had to confront him. It took a week before I told him what I knew, and by then I was very much calmed down from it. I told him what I heard and I didn't care if he admitted it or denied it, I just wanted him to have the knowlege that I knew what he did say so that next time he would think twice before speaking. He half admitted to some of it, and then two days later tried to deny all of it, but I didn't care. He knew I knew and that was all that mattered. I have to think he's not making that same mistake again, and I will assume that is the case unless I hear differently.
I think you have to take care of yourself (and the payments that are in your name) and other than that not worry about him so much. He is on his own and he will need to bear the consequences of his actions all by himself from now on. Let him know his words can and have gotten back to you and the free ride is over (except for the truck, becuase you know it won't get paid and you don't need to wreck your own credit) and from now on if you hear him spreading lies get out your trusty notebook and make an entry with dates, times, names, set the person straight, and then forget about it - he can't get to you unless you let him.
Edited because at first I posted that I hoped my ex would "think twice before thinking" LOL.
Edited 4/1/2005 2:39 pm ET ET by firstamendment
Thanks for your reply. I didn't even think about writing these things down and documenting when and who, that is a good idea.
Why do they still lie? Whats the point after all this time.
I am upset at myself for being hurt by all of this, I thought I was to the " he can never hurt me again point" but I guess if I was stupid enought o be the gravy train again I am gullible enought o be hurt .
Hello & Welcome.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~