Need Advice - Getting Scared
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Need Advice - Getting Scared
| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 8:00pm |
First off, I apologize if I'm posting too much, but I don't know very many separated/divorced people, and everyone here is so helpful. My problem is that my husband left me Saturday evening. That's not the problem. My problem is that I got my best night's sleep that night since he told me he wanted out. He ended coming back on Sunday morning. Said he spent the night driving and slept at a rest stop. He told me he will now leave this weekend. When he was gone, I'm not sure what I felt, but I was functional. When he walked back in Sunday morning, I got the nervousness in my stomach again and felt on edge the whole day and couldn't eat. Sunday morning before he came back, I ate a good breakfast and felt ok, not great, but ok. I have also been looking at little houses that I can afford on my own and beginning to think I might make it through this. I'm starting to feel little glimmers of independence. I got married at 19 and never had the chance to be independent. I went from my parent's house to my husband's. That is what is scaring me. To be totally honest, I'm afraid to give up hope. I'm afraid if I start moving on, that will be it for our marriage. I'm afraid to stop fighting for my marriage. I guess what I'm asking is, is this something that everyone goes through? It's a very foreign feeling for me and I'm getting scared as heck. Thanks for any advice or insight.

Endings are always sad and scary. I also went from my family home to living with my husband so I never lived on my own either. You're not a kid anymore and you are more than capable of being on your own. Do your research, figure out your finances and move forward if you're sure the marriage isn't what you want. Make sure you know why you want to end your marriage. It sounds like he feels the same way you do.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong with getting married when you are young. I can understand why you would reach a point where you feel that you need to be independant but that dosn't have to mean you end the marriage. My sister got married when she was 17 and they went through some rough times but they are still together 21 years later.
BTW, I'm wondering what causes this nervous feeling when he is around you? Is he abusive towards you?
Talk to eachother and try to get to the root of the problems.
In a word, Yep!
Rollercoaster, ying and yang, up and down.
And, as you point out, you don't just feel it or think it ... your body wears it all too. It is tough tough tough.
I hope he really goes this time, for your sake.
Chin up -- you can do it!
M
The change was big for me, too.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~