Need advice - husband defaults on debts/owes money/separate?
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|Sun, 06-30-2013 - 1:45am|
Thank you very much in advance! I would really appreciate some advice.
Been married 5 years to my husband (2nd marriage for both, no kids together).
Tonight I actually called the police because he slapped my wrist hard -- I asked him to leave, go to his brothers house, he would not. I asked again, said please go to your brothers house, or even get a hotel room I'll pay for it, he said no. I called 911 and he left after talking to police. Lots of times we have a bad argument, and if it's really bad I'll go to the mall or a friends house, but this time he slapped my hand hard and got in my face exc.
Here's my problem: He's gotten increasingly worse and worse with money -- but the hardest part is I feel we have very, very different values about money (owing people money, forging checks) and I get depressed, plus worried about will I have to support him in retirement. He kind of blows me off, saying "oh, money will get better because I (dh) got a small raise recently"......when we were newlyweds he didn't have enought money to pay a dr. bill, and he forged 2 checks that were in my name only -- he forged my name and lied about it. We went to marriage counseling and stayed together.
Multiple times he's not been able to pay any share of the rent, once he owed me $1,800 (we keep our money separate becuase we both have kids from previous marriages), and he'd still by beer, cologne for himself, but owed me that much. He had a low paying job last year and thus got VERY behind on child support with his ex. His ex was so angry, she sometimes would not let their son answer the phone when my DH would call for his son.
He once called my mother and asked to borrow $500 from her, without asking me first. He did not ask his 3-4 family members, he asked my mother (that bothers me)
Final blow-- Dh got a good paying job lately. I thought he was doing ok financially - he would suggest eating out, going to the movies, he went to a nascar race with his cousin, exc exc. Turns out he spent money on these things but did not pay his car payment. His car got repossessed a week ago, and I've been driving him to work and back every day, he has no car. He doesn't seem very concerned that his car got repossessed! His cousin just loaned him $600 (short term loan) to help DH get his car back. ***The stress of all these ongoing money problems, and dh's causal attitude, such as he doesn't seem to care that it's taking him 3-4 months to pay back child support to his ex, have worn me out**
We separated tongiht, he moved in with his cousin for tonight. I don't want him to come back. I think I've stayed this long as I was afraid I couldn't financially live alone, plus I do not believe in divorce. But he **DID NOT** pay his car payment, and did spend money going out to eat, going to the movie theatre, exc, and again, his car got repossessed. I cannot relate to his view on finances. Help! What would you do? Also, he drinks 5-6 beers every night and gets grouchy, that likely alcoholism has been a problem as well. please let me know what you would do